People deserve to find new love after an old one doesn’t work out. But if your current boyfriend has just been through a rough breakup, you need to be sure he’s with you for you and not because he’s on the rebound. You don’t want to be the girl he uses as his crutch as he hobbles toward moving on, especially if he can’t fully commit to your relationship.
If you’re worried you might be his rebound girl and don’t want to be in a relationship with a guy who may be with you because the girl he wants won’t have him, you should watch for these warning signs.
1. He keeps comparing you to his ex
“Oh, you have a cat too! My ex had, like, seven of these.” Once is okay. Twice is enough. Thrice is borderline exasperating. Once more is him blatantly screaming in your face the he still hasn’t gotten over the old girlfriend.
2. His bedtime stories revolve around his ex.
If he keeps you up by talking endlessly about his ex’s terrible cooking and gross snoring habits, he may not actually be ranting about the things he disliked about her. Underneath the seeming bitterness is a lovelorn little boy regaling you with tales of his everlasting passion and heartaches from a lost love.
3. He’s either showing no signs of commitment, or overenthusiastic about the idea that you’re “just so perfect for each other.”
These two polar opposites could mean that he’s either trying too hard to get over her and failing miserably or struggling to accept the bitter reality that he can’t have what he really wants. Hint: it’s not you.
4. You feel like there’s more sex and less talk in the relationship.
An extremely physical relationship is only romantic when there’s a healthy balance between open communication and 5-minute quickies and booty calls. Otherwise, it could be that he’s just channeling leftover bitterness between the sheets.
5. You hear his friends mutter that he’s dating “too soon.”
You cannot underestimate the truth in those muttered jokes and the remarks whispered under their breath. Half in jest, half in earnest, as they say. When the people closest to him have enough cheek to make these venomous little jests, they are either jerks or sending you an important warning.
If you start noticing these signs, it all comes down to you whether to stick around and keep being his heartbreak cushion or to steal the ball and run. Of course, you should ask him to have a serious talk about your relationship. If he evades the topic relentlessly, then girl, that’s the most obvious sign for you. But before you go and deal with your romance woes, here are some parting words from Snooki: