Unless he says exactly the words,”Would you like to go out on a date with me?” it can be confusing when a guy asks you to hang out. One time, a friend and I made plans to see each other. It wasn’t until he sent me a text the night before saying how nervous he was that I realized it was supposed to be a date!
So, your cute male friend invited you to do something with him this coming weekend. Does he want to just hang out as friends, or is he possibly crushing on you too and is actually asking you out? Since we all know how confusing dating can be, here are some definitive signs to look for to determine whether a guy just asked you out or not.
1. He has it all planned out.
A great way to gauge whether he’s asking you out or just to hang out is whether he seems to have it planned ahead of time or not. If he says, “Hey, we should get together this weekend,” it’s a lot less likely to mean he’s asking you out on a date than if he says, “Let’s have dinner together on Friday. Does 7:00 p.m. at Omakase work for you?” A man who is asking someone out on a date has usually put thought into it beforehand and has an idea in mind where he’d like to bring you. If it’s more of a spontaneous seeming hangout invitation, he probably just wants to spend time with you–as a friend.
2. He offers to pay the bill.
Okay, I know that this is 2015 and it’s perfectly acceptable for a couple to split the bill these days or for the woman to pay for dinner herself, but if it’s a first date, chances are very high that the guy will offer to pay. Men often like to pay for dates, especially early on in a blossoming potential relationship, both as a sweet gesture and to try and impress their new lady. If you go out to dinner with a guy and he doesn’t even offer to pay the bill, he probably just sees this as a casual get together between friends and nothing more.
3. It’s not something he would still do on his own.
For example, a party. If he’s having a party and says “Hey, you should be there!” that’s not a date because he’s still having the party–whether you come or not. Likewise, if he has plans to see a movie with a group of his friends and invites you to “tag along,” it’s not a date because he’s still going to go without you. That’s why a typical date is dinner, drinks, or a movie–with just the two of you. He’s probably not going to eat dinner alone at that nice restaurant he invited you to, right?
4. He asks a lot of questions about you.
Dating is about getting to know a potential romantic interest better, so if a guy keeps asking you questions about yourself during dinner, it’s probably a date. These might be questions about your dreams, goals, hobbies; they could be about anything, the point is that they’re about you and directed toward getting to know you better. This means he’s interested in you as a person and wants to understand you. If it’s just a casual hangout, the topics are more likely to stray towards everyday things. If you’re on a date, the focus will be more on each other than anything else.
5. He finds excuses to touch you and to be physically close to you.
This applies both when he’s asking you out and when you’re actually out. If he has romantic feelings for you, he’s going to look for excuses to touch you. It may not be as bold and obvious as a kiss, but smaller indications like his hand brushing up against yours and him not moving it away. He will also be likely to stand closer to you than he normally would with his other friends. Observe him when he’s talking to his friends. Look at how he behaves with them and how close he might stand. If he’s more touchy with you than he is with his friends, it’s probably because he sees you as more than just one of them.
If all these things seem to be adding up, it’s almost a certainty that he’s asking you out! Every guy is different and has a different approach to dating, but these five signs seem to be nearly universal for anyone. Now that you know that you’ve got a date this weekend, be sure to brush up on your dating etiquette so you can ensure a second date as well!