To fall in love is one of the most amazing privileges that we have as human beings. However, it could also be one of the most unpleasant experiences if we don’t take care of it. A harmonious, romantic relationship doesn’t just happen, after all. It takes work and dedication from both parties.

Oftentimes, fights break out because of miscommunication, or a complete lack of communication altogether. Remember: just because you’ve found the person who accepts you for everything that you are doesn’t mean you can just let loose and not think about the words that come out of your mouth anymore. How our feelings and thoughts are translated into the words that we speak will always matter to the people we say them to.

“Control”

You know you’re doing something wrong when you find yourself using the word “control” during a conversation with your significant other, or when you’re referring to your relationship. Love is and should never be a matter of control or dominance. It should always be a relationship of equals with mutual respect for each other’s choices. One should never aim to control another’s decisions or actions.

“Permission”

More often than not, we hear women in relationships utter the phrase “I’m not allowed to”. Sadly, it has actually become somewhat of a norm in our country and is a very accepted thing in relationships here when it really shouldn’t be. Women, especially in these modern times, should have the freedom to dress how they want, go where they want, and say what’s on their minds when they want to. Don’t let a man tell you what you can and cannot do.

“But”

The word “but” can be pretty harmful when used in conversations with your significant other. In fact, this word sometimes causes arguments to go on for so much longer than they should and even makes resolutions harder to achieve. It’s oftentimes used to insert excuses and conditions, after all – things that will never lead to anything good for either party. Most of the time, this word is heard from the person in the relationship who has difficulty accepting their own faults.

“I/You”

These words come from a place of selfishness. While it may be true that people need to be a bit selfish at times, that doesn’t really hold true in the world of relationships. If you only think of yourself, then maybe you shouldn’t have a relationship on your plate at the moment. The word “you” also comes from a place of blame and resentment. The magic words you should be using are “we” and “us”. When it comes to matters of the heart, you and your partner should think as a unit to make sure you’re both equally heard and understood.

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