Charlene works for a popular greeting card company, hoping that…
A woman in a relationship knows that there are little statements she makes that can thoroughly annoy her man. Sometimes they come off as innocent remarks, but more often than not, they’re laced with sarcasm and spite, leaving him confused and exasperated.
Here are eight statements which lot of women (including me) are at some point guilty of saying.
1. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
It’s fine if you really just take five minutes. What’s not fine is when what you really mean is that you’ll be there in fifty. Drawing from personal experience, giving a specific time and arriving way past it results in sarcastic boyfriend quips. After all, waiting for more than 10 minutes isn’t the most fun thing in the world to do.
2. “Does this make me look fat?”
Ah, the eternal question that has no right answer. When you ask your man if your outfit makes you look fat, you’re putting him in a situation where he can’t win: he can’t say yes for obvious reasons, and he can’t say no because he thinks that you won’t believe him. Instead of asking him, just ask yourself if what you’re wearing makes you feel good, and carry it with confidence!
3. “Do you really, really, really love me?”
Women need verbal validation once in a while, but asking him if he loves you a little too often can get on his nerves. Of course he loves you, but he doesn’t need to say it every single minute you’re together. Besides, you’ll find that these little declarations of affection mean more when they’re done spontaneously and during heartfelt moments instead of given as a response to verbal insecurities.
4. “Who’s that girl?”
Said in tones that feign disinterest, “Who’s that girl?” is usually followed by a prolonged “aaah,” which is your veiled way of saying “I don’t believe you.” And even if you don’t mean it that way, that’s almost always how it’s going to come out. Although it can be a valid question in the right situation, don’t pop it every single time you find a photo of your man with a girl who could simply be his office mate/kabarkada/neighbor/cousin, as this raises trust issues.
5. “We need to talk.”
Hearing you’re going to have “the talk” is the single, most dreaded thing a man goes through in a relationship. These “talks” rarely end up satisfying both parties, as often times they’re initiated when one (the woman) is extremely irritated and the other (the man) is totally clueless. At times, it even becomes more like a rant session instead of an open forum, so if you want to do some serious one-on-one with your guy, make sure that you’re not hot-headed and that you’re really willing to listen to what he has to say. Better yet, instead of bottling up your anger to the point where you can’t take it anymore and “need to talk,” speak out when your guy does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, neglected, or even downright angry.
6. “Wala lang.”
This is normally said after your man asks you why you’re spouting weird, out-of-the-blue questions such as “Were you like this with your ex?” or “Would you go to a massage parlor while I’m out of the country?” The response “wala lang” means that the gears in your head are turning, and they’re churning out dark suspicions that are oftentimes baseless. “Wala lang” is a prelude to doom masked as a nonchalant remark, and it’s something that he definitely doesn’t want to hear.
This is entirely different from “wala lang,” despite the fact that it translates to the same thing. When “nothing” is your answer when he asks you what’s, it means that all hell is about to break lose. “Nothing” means you’re angry, and the problem is he doesn’t know why. What annoys him is that he wants to fix things, but since you don’t throw him a bone by giving him a proper answer, he doesn’t know what else to do except be utterly frustrated. And if you’re saying “nothing” because you think he should be able to read your mind and instinctively know what’s wrong, well, then, you’re setting him up for failure.
8. “Okay, enjoy.”
These lines are uttered either flippantly or dripping with cloying sarcasm. Your man gives you a heads up on something that he’s planning to do and you’re not on board with it, but you don’t want him to think that you don’t want him to have a life, so you say “okay, enjoy” even if you mean entirely the opposite. This puts your guy in a fix because they he knows you’re being sarcastic, or at the very least passive-aggressive, but you’re shooing him away at the same time—and when this happens, arguments ensue.
Instead of creating a mess, just say what you mean and mean what you say. It’s healthier for you and your relationship.
(Special thanks to Jason Dayrit of twenty8two.com for helping out.)
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Charlene works for a popular greeting card company, hoping that what she writes makes some big, burly man somewhere cry. She's into MMA, and when she's not watching armbars on YouTube, she also writes for a tech blog or naps with her cat.