Cheating on your romantic partner is the ultimate form of betrayal. When you’re in an exclusive relationship, you expect your significant other to be faithful to you, so when you find out that he has been sleeping with someone else behind your back, it hurts like nothing else you’ve ever felt. Some cheaters may try to change their ways, but a lot of times there are what are known as serial cheaters who get off on the thrill, and they’re just going to keep hurting you if you don’t cut them out of your life. Here are some of the excuses that serial cheaters try to use–and why you should stop listening to them.
1. “It was just one time.”
Look at the way it’s worded. It was just one time. The cheater who is using this excuse is trying to use the fact that it only happened once as a way to get you to forgive him. He’s essentially saying, “Yes, I betrayed you deeply, but it’s not that bad because I only did it once.” This is the kind of excuse that a man who will cheat again will use. He doesn’t try to take responsibility for what he did; instead he tries to play it off as though it isn’t that bad. If he doesn’t feel he did something wrong, what’s there to stop him from doing it to you again?
2. “She/they meant nothing to me.”
Which is worse, your boyfriend or husband cheating on you with one woman that he has feelings for, or having many one-night-stands that he claims meant nothing? Both are pretty horrendous actions. In this scenario, the cheater is trying to excuse himself by saying it was just sex, and it was nothing more than satisfying his sexual needs. But what he’s really saying is that you mean nothing to him too. If you mattered to him as much as his sexual urges did, he would never have done it in the first place. If he valued his relationship, he would have had the self-control to stay loyal to you.
3. “I was thinking of you the whole time.”
That’s even worse than telling you that the girl meant nothing to him. While he was with her, doing something he knows would hurt you very deeply, he was thinking about you? If he was really thinking about you, that should have been enough to stop his actions. If you were anywhere in his thoughts at the time, he should have felt guilty and put a stop to it before it had even started. If he was truly thinking about you at the time and still went through with his actions, that shows you how much he truly values you.
4. “I was drunk.”
One of the most popular excuses ever for anyone who makes a mistake, trying to excuse himself by saying “I was drunk” is absolute garbage. First of all, drinking doesn’t change who you are, it just loosens your inhibitions. So whether he was drunk or not, he still wanted to do it. Second, what was he doing getting that drunk with another woman? If you think you can’t control yourself when you’re drunk, don’t put yourself in that situation in the first place. Even though he is trying to convince you otherwise, he knew what he was doing and trying to use drunkenness as an excuse is just disgusting because he won’t even try to take responsibility for his hurtful actions.
5. “I don’t know why I did it, it just happened.”
Cheating doesn’t “just happen.” Two peoples’ pants don’t just magically fall off and force them to sleep with each other. He knew very well what he was doing and why he was doing it. In fact, most serial cheaters actually get a thrill out of leading a double life and the secrecy involved in the lifestyle of a cheater. He did it because it was fun and exciting and he thought that he could get away with it.
One thing that most, if not all, serial cheaters have in common is that they will always avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Reread through these excuses. In none of them does the cheater admit that he has done something wrong, that he has hurt you, and that he is at fault. Instead, he looks for ways to manipulate you into believing it was an accident, it was unplanned, and that he doesn’t think he has anything to be sorry for. This kind of toxic relationship is not something that anyone should be involved in, so it’s time to say goodbye.
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Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines to be with her husband, David Christopher Hizon, who also happens to be her photographer for most of her writing endeavors. A gamer, a bookworm, an animal lover and a self-proclaimed foodie, she is passionate about everything that she does and hopes that will come across in her writing. Follow her at http://facebook.com/WritersInTandem & http://www.thewritersintandem.wordpress.com