Is He Secretly Being a Jerk? 5 Warning Signs You Should Watch Out For

We’re all hoping to find a great catch. We want a guy who will treat us right and make us feel special, a guy who is going to stick around and be the person we can rely on. Some women, though, have a tendency of attracting all the wrong guys. They may seem nice enough at first, but the more time you spend with them, the less happy and fulfilled the relationship makes you.

There are usually some subtle red flags that can be spotted in the guy’s behavior, but when we’re looking for love they can be easy to miss. To keep you from wasting your time on a seemingly nice guy who is actually a jerk, we’ve compiled some signs to look for that will help you to see beyond the nice guy mask for what he really is.

Image from How I Met Your Mother via 20th Television

Image from How I Met Your Mother via 20th Century Fox Television

1.He always calls himself a nice guy.

Ironic, isn’t it? If a guy is always telling you what a nice guy he is, you probably will want to believe him. But what kind of nice guy has to go around telling everyone how great he is in order to prove it? This is probably the same person who rants on Facebook about how many times he’s been friendzoned, and how women just don’t know how to appreciate how great he is. Actions, in this case, speak much louder than words–if he’s really a nice guy, he shouldn’t have to advertise himself by saying such all the time.

GIF from 40-Year-Old Virgin via Giphy

GIF from 40-Year-Old Virgin via Giphy

2. He only compliments you on your looks.

Who doesn’t like a little bit of flattery, now and then? When a guy we have feelings for calls us beautiful or sexy, it makes us feel great, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It only becomes a problem if those types of compliments are the only ones you ever get from him. Surely, your looks aren’t the only attractive thing about you: what about your intelligence, your creativity, or your kind heart? If the only good things your guy has to say about you are related to your physical appearance, he might just be a shallow and superficial jerk who only cares about what’s on the outside.

GIF via Giphy

3. He’s nice to you–but not to other people.

When figuring out who a person really is, it’s important that you consider more than just how he treats you. After all, he’s getting something out of this relationship too, so how does he treat the people who aren’t doing anything for him? Look at the way he treats his waiter, the way he talks about his disabled co-worker, and even the way he treats his own friends. Does he treat all of them with kindness? If he doesn’t, that should be a huge red flag showing you what kind of man he really is.

GIF from Friends via Giphy

GIF from Friends via Giphy

4. He won’t let you pass by his house.

Whenever the two of you hang out as a couple, it’s always either at your place or public grounds. He always seems to have an excuse for not bringing you back to his own house. In fact, you’re not even sure where he lives. This should be a huge warning sign for you. If you’ve been dating for a few months already and he’s still using the “I haven’t cleaned my house” excuse, something is up. There’s a good chance that he lives with someone whom he’s trying to hide you from. It might be family members that he doesn’t want to know about you or worse–a girlfriend or wife.

GIF from Giphy

GIF from Giphy


5. He won’t make a commitment to you.

Now, everyone needs some time before deciding if they want to commit to the person they’ve been seeing. But how much time does a person really need? If you have already been seeing each other for several months, and he still won’t commit or admit into being in an actual relationship with you, there’s likely more reason behind it than just needing more time. He might have commitment issues or just isn’t the type to commit to one girl and wants to continue being able to play the field.

GIF from The Late Late Show with James Corden vie Giphy

GIF from The Late Late Show with James Corden vie Giphy

It’s easy to be deceived by a man who’s had a little too much experience breaking hearts already. Hopefully, by looking out for these signs when you’re dating someone new, you’ll be able to avoid being another link in his chain of broken hearts.

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