Over the course of my dating life, I’ve had numerous experiences with different age ranges. Some were bad, and some were good. When I look back at those experiences and compare them to the age gap between us, I noticed that there is a consistent pattern.
Are we really attracted to older men because they have more resources? Are men really attracted to younger women because they are fertile or more socially accepted as ‘beautiful’?
The Age Differential Effect is a well-documented theory that basically says that men want younger women because they’re more fertile and women want older men because they are more stable. In a study referenced in an article by Vinita Mehta, Ph.D. from Washington DC in Phychology Today, she mentions how this theory remains true across dozens of cultures.
Outline of Age Gap Patterns
First off, let me say that I believe in relationship equality. I don’t think anyone should wear the pants. I hate pants. 😉
My experience in dating an older man (around 15 years older) was nice on the surface. We went to nice places, ate wonderful food and the lifestyle overall was great. As time went on, however, I began to realize that my age and social group didn’t match up with his. My friends are much more active. They also travel a lot and move around more, in general. This eventually led to a gap between us. As an older man, he just couldn’t keep up. :p
My experience with a younger guy was quite different. In my case, the man didn’t lead in terms of making simple decisions (like where to eat, what to do, etc.) and it was left to me to decide. The sex was good, but the daily activities were exhausting and boring. I personally think it’s sexy when a guy has something to say, when he takes the lead and knows how to listen. I’m a traditional girl like that.
What’s interesting is that every experience I have dating someone similar in this age range tends to have the same outcome. I’d love to hear your experience about relationship age differences. Does it really have an effect on your relationship?
What’s the Right Age Gap?
Maturity matters. I’ve met men who are in their early or mid 30’s and act very mature. However, I’ve also met older men who act like teenagers sometimes. Age does influence maturity. For me, the right gap seems to be 5-10 years older. (My boyfriend is 7 years older than me.)
Are Things Changing?
In Filipino culture, women have traditionally been trained to stay inside the house and make the home. Women are starting to become more independent and women are increasingly getting more leadership roles and earning more money. I’m proud to be a part of the Modern Filipina culture, and believe that women and men should match based on chemistry and compatibility, as well as a reasonable age gap.
What's Your Reaction?
Zen is a mom and a business owner. She likes to travel, and spend time with her family. Zen spends her spare time writing and helping advocate women’s issues in the Philippines. Her passion is to help empower strong successful independent women.