Falling in love with a man is such a hassle. The awkwardness in meeting a guy for the very first time. The sudden realization that you are attracted to this guy, but can’t admit it because it’s too early to tell if he feels the same way. The risks and the conscious yet impulsive decisions of making yourself vulnerable to the possibility of heartbreak. The overwhelming feelings that suddenly come at 2 o’clock in the morning when you can’t sleep because you’re too busy overthinking that text he sent hours ago. “Goodnight :)”
A smiley face? Really? What am I supposed to do with a smiley face? Does that mean he was smiling when he texted me? Should I text a smiley back? Is he flirting? Am I supposed to be flirting back? Or was that just an innocent gesture? Should I overthink this? Nope? Nada? Nein? Okay…………
But, really, what does that smiley face mean?!?!?!
Here are just some of the reasons why falling in love with a fictional character is much more convenient (and sometimes even much greater) than falling in love with a real man:
I. There are no lies, este broken promises.
Admit it: you always try to present your best and most interesting self to any man that you meet and find interesting. You exert all of that effort just to have a profound and exciting conversation that could potentially lead to something more later on down the line or simply to avoid getting stuck in a rather awkward situation wherein you have absolutely nothing to talk about.
And it gets even worse when you’re in a relationship. You make promises of forever even though you both know that no one can predict the future. You say that you’re okay when you’re absolutely far from being okay.
When you fall for a fictional character, however, you know that he will never lie to you. You know where he’s coming from because his backstory was spelled out for you in Chapters 1 to 4. He will express his thoughts freely and hold nothing back from you (and if he ever does, it will be revealed in a follow-up novella). You fall in love with what’s written and not with what’s not. There are no lies because there are no promises. You know this is going to end in page 939. In that way, you can prepare yourself for the inevitable heartbreak. Which leads to reason #2…
II. There are no arguments.
Once you figure out that your ‘relationship’ isn’t going anywhere, you overreact to even the smallest of things, which then leads to a fight. Your man will feel like he’s not enough and you will feel like you’re not enough, and then all of your insecurities combined will just eat up your entire relationship, leaving you within nothing but the debris of his favorite couch, the mix tapes (or CDs, or playlists, depending on which generation you grew up in) that he made for you, and the shirt of his that you borrowed when you impulsively decided to stay overnight at his place. These arguments will make you question whether the feelings that you have for this guy are even real.
When you fall for a fictional character, there will be no arguments. There will be no misunderstandings because what he can offer you is all set in writing. He won’t ever expect anything from you, which makes him the perfect man, really. You also won’t have to be afraid to be yourself, to laugh as loud as you want, or to cry as ugly as you need to, either. When you need space, he’ll still be there for you when you come back, too.
III. You can take things back.
The most painful thing about being in a relationship is that when all is said and done, you can’t ever take your words and actions back. The confessions, the hurtful accusations, the assumptions, the love that you so willingly gave him and which he took for granted. It’s all out there now. Whatever words you say or letters you write or songs you sing from here on out won’t possibly be able to erase the fact that someone has already been hurt. Somebody has already lost.
But you can’t lose with a fictional character. Yes, he can break your heart, too, but you will have the freedom to rewrite what has already been written. What are fan fictions for, anyway? You have the option to decide what happens or does not happen next in your story together.
With a real person, you will have to deal with the complications of life along the way. As convenient as it might be to fall for a fictional character, though, you need to keep in mind that the journey of a real relationship is actually where the good parts lie. It’s the choices that you make and the chances that you risk that make love an exciting and captivating thing.
So, while falling in love with a fictional character may be much more convenient and may seem greater than falling for a real man on many levels; never forget that it is the inconvenience, the lies, the arguments, and the heartbreak that makes falling in love with a real person more real. Fall for a fictional character every now and then – go ahead. But always fall for a real man in the end.
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Leanne Malicdem has a soft spot for all things romantic, heartbreaking, and beautiful. She is inspired by passionate people who are in love with the work that they do. Leanne enjoys reading and thinks that Paulo Coelho speaks to her directly through his books. She often constructs run-on sentences and is an advocate of the usage of the oxford comma.