It is a known fact that women tend to mature faster than men. Perhaps, this is why a good number of women go for much older men. At some point in your life, especially if you step out of your college bubble and enter the world of adults, you will experience being approached by older men. You would wonder why, because when you look into the mirror, you still see a child.
When a much older, sophisticated-looking gentleman says he wants to know you better and spend more time with you, several thoughts and doubts come into mind. But, if you are interested in this guy and you want to give it a chance, here are a few perks and challenges I have drawn from my parents’ marriage and my personal experience with dating an older man.
Perk: He’s already set in his ways. This could be a great advantage for you because he may offer you many valuable insights about being an adult. They are more comfortable with themselves and find it easier to coast through life.
Challenge: The challenge to this is that he may not be as open minded to new experiences. It makes a lot of difference if your man grew up in the 80s while you only blossomed in the late 90s. They are two different eras, with different sentiments and sensibilities. Age disparity can be an issue at times.
Perk: There’s a big chance that he is already well-established in his career. If the guy is, say, ten years older, he is most probably financially secure and has been serving the industry for a long time.
Challenge: Since he has already built a life way before you, there’s also a good chance that you will not be his top priority. If the guy is much older, say ten to twenty years, he may already have a kid or more. You don’t have to step in to be a mom just yet, but be prepared to meet them.
Perk: He knows how to win your heart. Naturally, a much older guy will have had several experiences with women in his life. He already knows how to deconstruct the complexities of a woman’s brain. Basically, he knows what buttons to push already.
Challenge: At some point, though, he might use this to his advantage. But, don’t be too paranoid about it. He will appreciate you, your youth, your ideas and aspirations, and not just your looks.
Perk: He’s more honest and straightforward. Adults don’t have time for unnecessary, petty arguments. This can be a good thing because you will learn how to filter your thoughts and handle your emotions on your own.
Challenge: He will not tolerate your emotional immaturity. This, of all stumbling blocks of dating older men, is the most difficult to handle. Why? Because emotional maturity takes time to establish, and since he’s already a few steps ahead of you, he might push you too hard to speed up the process. If this happens, ask him to understand that you are still young and that you are learning.
Perk: One of the greatest advantages of dating an older man is that he will definitely bring out the best in you. He will provide you with valuable insights about life and help you achieve a balance between being practical and going after your dreams.
Challenge: The challenge to this is that it may get overwhelming. You will sometimes get frustrated if you can’t catch up with him or if you can’t relate to his friends and colleagues.
Perk: He’s dead serious about you. Like I said, older men don’t usually have time for petty and trivial things. If he’s spending a bulk of his time on you, on top of his other commitments, then he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
Challenge: Older men seek commitment and partnership. If you can’t be that girl, and if you still want to enjoy your youth and freedom, he’s not the man for you. But, if you want to take your relationship to the next level, you will have to make sacrifices.
Every relationship has its own perks and challenges. What matters is that the both of you are willing to make sacrifices so you can have a harmonious relationship. Looking at my parents’ marriage, I have learned that staying in a relationship is all about compromise and balance. If you truly care for your man, don’t walk away at the slightest hindrances, and try harder to bring out the best in him and in your relationship. Just like careers and academic degrees, a good relationship requires a lot of patience and hard work.