Well-behaved women seldom make history.—Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
This quote doesn’t mean that you have to misbehave or be scandalous to earn a name for yourself, but it does mean you have to be willing to challenge ideas about what is proper and acceptable as well as willing to pay the price for it (if that means being labeled scandalous, then so be it). It’s a celebration of women who simply know how to master the art of balancing power, strength, and ambition with femininity. It’s a celebration of the females who choose to be defined by their courage to go after the life they want to live—instead of being confined by words like “appropriate” and “ladylike.”
There are the women who intimidate the close-minded and inspire those who long to be bold, daring, and fearless. I know a few of them very well, and they have changed my life (or perhaps helped me unleash my inner badass). And while alpha females sometimes get a bad rap, often from men who are intimidated and women who are fearful and ignorant, they will stand up for their beliefs and pave their own way through life when the established routes aren’t to their liking.
Could you be a true, kickass alpha female? Here are a few signs you are:
1. You call the shots in your personal and professional life.
Many women are passive; some use subtle flirting to get men to approach them. But an alpha female calls the shots. She doesn’t wait—she makes things happen. Whether it’s walking up to a guy and saying hello, putting in an offer for a car or house you want, or asking your boss for a raise, you are an alpha female if you would rather risk hearing “no” rather than simply sit on the sidelines. However, it’s not so much about being the boss as being in charge of your own destiny. Sometimes calling the shots means making the decision to put someone else’s needs and wants before your own.
2. You are independent and self-sufficient.
You are an alpha female if you are independent and self-sufficient. You don’t need anyone to take care of you, even though a true partner who will insist on pampering you at times even while you take care of him is still a welcome addition to your life. You are not looking for a knight in shining armor, a boy toy, or a benefactor. Your goal is to be with a man who understands and accepts you, and respects your personal space.
3. You are confident, and you don’t need to put others down to feel good about yourself.
Very few women walk on this earth feeling completely unhappy with who and what they are. The bold alpha women, on the other hand, accept the fact that there will always be someone more beautiful and more brilliant than they are. They don’t stress themselves out about it because they understand that it’s a shallow thing to think about. On a more personal note, they know they will make mistakes, even they do their utmost to avoid them.
An alpha female has a sense of security that is lacking in many other women. She knows what she is good at, and she plays to her strengths. She knows what she isn’t good at, and she works to strengthen her weak points. She won’t necessarily toot her own horn, but she won’t hide her light under a bushel, either. And best of all, feeling strong and powerful does not mean making others feel weak or bowing them to her own desires.
4. You understand what’s important in life and stand by it.
The alpha female understands that brains will take her farther than beauty. She invests in herself—she reads and pursues learning to help her reach her goals. She knows it’s not about looks or popularity, but strength of purpose, will power, intelligence. She actively identifies her values in life and stands by them, although she keeps her mind open to possibilities and her eyes open for opportunities.
You are an alpha female if you invest in yourself without the slightest bit of apology. You know your value and never settle for anything less than you deserve.
5. You go for what you want.
Whether they want a promotion, a guy, or a bucket-list experience, alpha females dare chase their happiness, no matter what. You are an alpha female if you actively pursue your dreams and goals in life. You manage to always rise to the top, and you don’t exploit your femininity to seal deals or get your way with men. You are an alpha female if you know how to be completely in control of your destiny.
If you mentally checked these points, you are an alpha female. In fact, you are more than that—you are the epitome of all things a strong, independent, modern woman should be.