It’s been a really, really, really rough year, and we could all use a laugh or some relief from the confusing and rapidly changing world we find ourselves in. Some of you may have turned to binge-watching romance shows on Netflix or stocking your shelves with novels on fantasy dystopias. But you may want to feel good based on what you’re wearing alone.
We’ve combed Amazon for the following shirts, which will make you think and laugh from their designs.
So here are funny Filipino graphic tees dredged from the bottomless pit of late-stage capitalism known as Amazon.
Want to express your frustrations on the past year and everything about it but in a patriotic way? Then buy this simple yet profound tee that sums up the entirety of 2020 in a single word. Brevity is indeed the soul of wit.
Alternative Tee: If you want to express more of your feelings, this Brit-Pinoy fusion tee works well in getting your point across.
Vaguely Threatening Padyak
Although the design is very simplistic and not really that funny, what makes this tee sort of hilarious is how vaguely threatening the bright red PADYAK is. Why is it red? Is it red from blood? Is the shirt threatening you if you don’t padyak? Or is it threatening you with more padyak? What does it mean? Why?!
Maybe it’s a basic present for a friend who cycles. Or for people who’ve had to go to work on bikes, amid lockdowns and transportation freeze.
Alternative tee: For a similar vague vibe that should work well for inquiring foreigners, try this “yummy” shirt on. The red lines sandwiching the distinctly Pinoy dish should make for an interesting conversation as you proceed to explain to some American or Korean what exactly is dinuguan. Behold their horrified expressions.
The Perfect Shirt for Annoying Everyone
The silly practice of dabbing was old even before 2020 rolled around, and now its reserved for your teachers who want to be cool and boomers desperately trying to reconnect with their Gen-X relatives. So if you want to infuriate all of your friends, get this annoying dabbing tee. It’s sure to be a conversation starter, and that conversation will start with “What the hell are you wearing?”
Alternative tee: If dabbing really gets on your nerves and you want a non-confrontational way to respond to someone wearing the dab shirt, put this one on.
Remember when the pandemic started and people in Australia, the United States and Europe were almost trampling each other for toilet paper? Remember the smug satisfaction that you, as a Filipino, felt when you went into your bathroom and got your hand-dandy tabo? Well, you can wear that feeling of smug satisfaction now and showcase the Filipino bathroom innovation at the same time with this shirt.
Alternative tee: Another introduction to the culture of Pinoy is this illustration of Filipinos giving you direction. If the tabo on a shirt seems a bit scandalous, give this tee a try.
Ari Aster’s “Midsommar” was probably one of the least funny movies the year it came out, which is why it’s confusingly hilarious that this shirt gives off some serious May Queen vibes. Flower crown? Check! Weird stitch-looking text? Check! You can almost imagine your conyo friends giving you an impromptu lecture on the symbolism of “Midsommar” the moment you show them this design.
Alternative tee: When faced with May Queen vibes, some Pinoys sigh and express what’s on this shirt. When your conyo friends start explaining “Midsommar,” let the shirt convey your exasperation.
Ah, we’re now getting into existentialist/linguistic territory with this tee. Bakit nga ba why? What is the meaning of all this? Watch your friends ponder their own existence as they view this linguistic nightmare. Why. Why? We may never know. Such is the human condition.
Alternative tee: Questioning what life’s about? Why we’re all here? Imagine what a pig must be thinking if he sees this shirt with a blueprint to his existence. When you plan on being a Debbie Downer, might as well put on a proper shirt.
Heights of Maturity
Finally, when boundless wit and clever designs have all but run out, you can always go for this delightfully simple and extremely cringey tee. Is it funny? No. Will it make your friends roll their eyes so much they’ll look possessed? Yes. But is it funny then? No, not at all. But you can still get a kick out of it.
Alternative tee: Want wit? Answer a serious question with this shirt. Ahhh, to be young and annoying.
Funny clothing is just one way you can find joy in your life right now. You can go on solo hiking trips. Or meditate. Or binge watch your favorite movies. Or hang out with your friends virtually. But any of these endeavors are guaranteed to be funnier wearing one of these shirts.
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P. Torres' favorite animals are dragons, despite the lack of tangible evidence of their existence. When reading books or watching movies, anything with dragons in them gets top priority.