Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines…
First dates can be a lot more stressful than a girl would think. There are so many things to think about, both when we’re getting ready as well as on the date. In fact, there are some thoughts that seem to occur almost universally to just about every woman preparing for a special night. Here are a few of them!
1. What do I wear?
On a first date, looks matter, at least a little bit. First impressions last, and we want to make a good one so that we can count on a second date! When it comes to what to wear, though, there’s more to it than which shoes pair with your favorite top. You also have to consider where you’re going. This can be especially difficult if your date is picking you up and you’re not exactly sure where he’s taking you. What if he takes you somewhere fancy and you’re under-dressed? Or maybe he’ll take you somewhere casual, and you’ll be over-dressed! Guys may laugh at our how-to-dress-stress, but they usually are the ones surprising us or planning the evening, so they have it easy here!
2. Should I wear nice underwear?
As important as what to wear that everyone can see is what to wear underneath. Choosing your undergarments, though, is more than just which panties won’t show through your white dress. A lot of women consider choosing their underwear to represent how far they expect things to go after the date, sexually. If you wear nice underwear, it’s almost like you’re planning to sleep with him already–after all, why would you wear sexy panties or a matching bra if you didn’t think anyone would see them? On the other hand, what if you wear granny panties, and then things progress unexpectedly and he actually sees them! Then, too, there’s the simple fact that wearing sexy underwear makes you feel sexy, whether anyone is going to see them or not. What’s a girl to do?
3. What if we have nothing to talk about?
First dates are about getting to know each other. But there’s always this subconscious fear that once you’re on the date, you’ll either have nothing in common or run out of things to talk about. This happens far less frequently than we fear, but it’s still a legitimate worry. I know women who have joked about bringing flashcards with random topics to talk about on them, just in case things get a bit stale ! But don’t worry–once you’re beyond the first five minutes of awkwardness when you don’t know whether to shake his hand or hug him, the conversation usually ends up flowing pretty smoothly. After all, you’re almost strangers, so you have so much to share with each other.
4. Do I have to pee or am I just nervous?
It happens to the best of us. When we’re really nervous, we tend to get that butterfly-like feeling deep in our stomachs, and sometimes it makes us feel like we need to pee, when we really don’t. It can make for quite the uncomfortable night. After all, you don’t want to leave your date to use the bathroom as soon as you arrive, that’s just embarrassing! And what if the feeling lingers all night and you spend the entirety of the evening trying to make subtle trips to the CR to make sure it’s still just butterflies? He’s going to think that you have a bladder infection or something, and that’s not something you want your date thinking about.
5. Do I have to kiss him?
Everyone has a different timeline when it comes to how fast they want to move. Some women are perfectly confident to kiss on a first date, others would rather wait a while and make sure there is really compatibility there first. What if he leans in for a kiss, though, and you don’t want to kiss him? Are you obligated to let him kiss you just because he paid for dinner? What if the date was really horrible and you don’t plan to ever see him again… but he doesn’t seem to have had as terrible of a time as you? What if he walks you to your door and seems to be lingering and waiting for a kiss, or worse, for you to invite him in? You should never feel obligated to kiss someone for any reason, but sometimes it seems like the easy way to end a bad night!
Whatever thoughts are running through your head when you’re on a first date, just remember: you’re not alone! Everyone has similar first-date thoughts where we question everything from what to order for dinner to whether or not we should invite him inside to meet our parents afterwards. Just try not to stress about it too much and enjoy your night out! Not every first date goes magically, but there will always be a first date with another guy if it doesn’t work out!
What's Your Reaction?
Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines to be with her husband, David Christopher Hizon, who also happens to be her photographer for most of her writing endeavors. A gamer, a bookworm, an animal lover and a self-proclaimed foodie, she is passionate about everything that she does and hopes that will come across in her writing. Follow her at http://facebook.com/WritersInTandem & http://www.thewritersintandem.wordpress.com