Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines…
When it comes to cute guys, it can be way too easy to confuse love with infatuation. Both feelings can be extremely intense, and when they are, it’s even more difficult to distinguish one from the other. If you’re in a relationship with a guy but aren’t sure whether the extreme feelings that you have toward him is love or just infatuation, here are some signs to look for to help you figure out whether it’s the real thing, or just a passing crush.
1. “It was love at first sight!”
As romantic as the idea of love at first sight may sound, it’s a complete and total myth. If you think you fell in love with your guy as soon as you laid eyes on him, it’s probably just infatuation in reality. Real love is more than just sparks flying and chemistry happening; it requires getting to know a person on a better level and falling in love with their personality as well. Therefore, you cannot be in love with someone you’ve just met–there’s no foundation for it.
2. “I can’t keep my hands off of him!”
When the two of you hang out as a couple, is there more kissing and sexual activity going on then anything else? If so, you might just be infatuated with each other, rather than in love. True love is more than skin deep. While sex with someone you love is great, when you love someone, you want more than just carnal activity from them. If you’re in love with him, you’ll be just as happy to spend time with him snuggled up on the couch while watching a movie, or having a deep conversation with each other–it’s not all about getting physical all the time, you crave something deeper.
3. “I feel safe when I’m with him, like we can handle anything that the future throws at us.”
When you’re in a mature relationship, safety and stability is something that you look for. Therefore, it stands to reason that when you are genuinely in love with a man, the relationship should feel safe and stable in turn. While passion is usually still a part of love, it has its own place and real love can distinguish what that place is. If the relationship has a lot of ups and downs and crazy on-again-off-again tendencies, breaking up in the heat of the moment and making up in the next, it’s likely built on superficial infatuation, not love.
4. “I like who I am when I’m with him.”
If you’re in love with a person, you should like the person you are when you’re with him. Real love should bring out the best in you, the truly caring and compassionate side of you. Love is rational; infatuation, though, not so much. A person who is infatuated tends to let their worse colors show: jealous and obsessive behavior often being forerunners. If you love someone, you do your best to understand him and make decisions together with rational logic. Infatuation, on the other hand, usually leads to insecure behavior and creates a less than healthy environment for your relationship.
5. “He’s absolutely perfect.”
We all want to believe that there’s somebody out there who really fits our idea of who the perfect man is, but we know very well that nobody is actually perfect. Every single person out there has their own individual quirks and faults, no exceptions. Real love allows us to see that our guy has flaws, but enables us to look past them and love them despite their imperfections–after all, we have our own as well. However, if you are simply infatuated, you may not be able to see your guy’s flaws, and may even try to hide your own from him as well, letting him see you only at your best. A person who is genuinely in love can see that their partner has imperfections, but accepts them as part of who he is and what makes him the person that you love.
Now that you know the difference between love and infatuation, it might be time to analyze your relationship a little bit. Love is a deep, complex feeling and requires time to grow. A lot of relationships start with infatuation, but often grow into something deeper and more meaningful. Hopefully, this article has helped you to have a more realistic view of what love is, and now you’ll be able to recognize it better as your feelings grow.
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Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines to be with her husband, David Christopher Hizon, who also happens to be her photographer for most of her writing endeavors. A gamer, a bookworm, an animal lover and a self-proclaimed foodie, she is passionate about everything that she does and hopes that will come across in her writing. Follow her at http://facebook.com/WritersInTandem & http://www.thewritersintandem.wordpress.com