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Before and Now: Old Fashioned Romance for the Modern Filipina

Before and Now: Old Fashioned Romance for the Modern Filipina

Before and Now: Old Fashioned Romance for the Modern Filipina

When did we become so scared?

“I should wait a few days before calling him back.”

“Maybe I should try and tease him into thinking I want ‘it’, as well?”

“Does he like me??”

Let’s face it. Modern dating has become so advanced that ligawan has become a thing of the past, mind games have become the norm, and “what are we, where are we” exchanges are the new “we need to talk” conversations.

Maria Clara as a modern Filipina is no longer just a demure and charming lady, teasing men with her come-hither look and hiding behind her Spanish lace fan. She may still be demure and charming, and the teasing is still there. But instead of a fan, she hides behind her wall of pride.

It’s a given that there are a lot of jerks out there, in it just to “get it”. Distance yourself from these pricks. However, if you do find someone who accepts you, warts and all, and likes (or even loves) you despite and in spite of all your imperfections, why not throw away the fan and break the wall down?

So, again, I ask: when did we become so scared?

“To love is to be vulnerable.” Yes, ladies. It is inevitable to feel the highest of highs and lowest of lows when you are in love. It’s all part of the learning experience. Be naked, stripped of all that pride, cunning, and trickery. The reason for all that is because instead of feeling love and romance with our heart, we think too much and deal with it with our heads.

Alas, to be wise and love exceeds man’s might. So why keep overthinking?

If you like someone, just say it! Out loud! Whether or not your heart gets trampled on, what matters is that you learn from the experience, beat ’em up, and move on. If you do emerge victorious and your Mr. Ibarra feels the same way, it’s fiesta time for you!

This may seem like the stuff of romantic movies. But why do you think we swoon for all of that cheese? Because deep inside, we crave what we watch those actors portray as “realistic relationships”. We all want to get swept off our feet. We want cheesy declarations of love, like what Harry did:

If you’re stuck in a rut with someone, ask. Talk about it. Define the relationship. You deserve more than just vague titles, empty promises, and mind games. Love yourself enough to walk away from something or someone that is no longer developing you – that which is toxic and destructive.

If you are in love, then let yourself fall. Life is too short for too much rationalizing. You might surprise yourself at how romantic you are actually capable of being.

So, when did we become so scared? When we started to think that giving in to love is weak, heartbreak is an avoidable pain, and personality ethics (outward appearances) took precedence over character ethics.

We need to bring back romanticism and passion, of loving without inhibitions. If you feel it, then say it. Otherwise, be content sitting pretty with your Spanish lace fan. 😉

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