A relationship needs pillars in order to create a form of stability. Anything lacking may not be enough to keep your “love” afloat. The point is not whether its a patriarchal or matriarchal relationship, but rather who’s the bitch and who’s bitchin’.
3. There’s A “Commander”.
A common misconception in the bro code is male friends referring to their pare‘s partner as “commander”. Although seemingly harmless, there is an unconscious acknowledgement of submission on his part. Now egging for an egalitarian system, he’ll step up his game to assert his dominance. Conversely, he could just totally submit to being whipped. The point is: submission on either side of the party is bound to bring about bad news (abuse, a third party, etc).
2. There’s An Intense Form of Jealousy.
So yeah, he’s insecure with certain guys (or all guys) or you’re jealous of certain girls (or y’know anything with breasts). Submission on your part would mean dropping your very filial relationships with cool dude friends to stroke your insecure partner’s ego. Right. However, by accepting some strain of liberalism in this religious cesspool of conservatism, we should be logical enough to rationalize. Does this guy or girl have any malicious intent on my partner? Is he or she crossing the line, or am I? After that, well, become friends with those same people you thought were threats just to give you peace of mind. We need to get over this selosa/seloso culture. Stat.
1. There’s a Motive for Revenge.
Stemming from that same culture of delusional jealousy, the revenge principle only acts as impetus to a vicious cycle of getting back at each other. You using a friend to make him jealous. Him giving you the cold shoulder for sitting beside some ‘alpha male’ dude friend. Once the wheel’s in tow, it starts to roll and it gains speed quickly. Soon, even the people around you will get involved in your sticky shit. Submission to this revenge, although keeping the notion of peace alive, is only temporal. Rather than submitting, go for confrontation. Act like mature adults that know when to keep their emotions at bay.
Submission is not the key to a healthy relationship. In fact, the liberation of one’s ego may be the holy grail to an effective love life. Treat each other as necessities that you learn how to love as an individual and of course, respect as an individual, as well. Differences are inevitable, but anything that imbalances the steadiness of it all should be dealt with rationally and head-on.
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Bea is a single mother addicted to life hacks, books, food and the ocean. Bent on creating a better world for her daughter, she's using writing as a medium to get to where she needs to be, one chapter at a time.