Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines…
Being in a relationship with someone is supposed to make you feel good. Sure, there will always be fights and moments of unhappiness, but those should be spaced out in between moments of joy and love. If you’re in a relationship that seems to do nothing but sap your energy and happiness, it’s likely that you’re in an unhealthy relationship and it may be time to get out of it. Here are some signs that you’re in a toxic relationship.
1. He controls your social life.
While it’s normal to check in with your partner if you’re making plans without him, especially if you live together, there’s a fine line between choosing to check in and having to ask for his permission for every little thing that you do. If you already had plans as a couple and you need to see if he’s okay with rescheduling, that’s one thing. But if he’s forcing you to cancel or say no to plans with your friends all the time with no real reason, that’s getting to be too controlling. Your boyfriend should not be dictating how much time you can spend with your friends or who your friends are, and if he is, that’s a sure sign of a toxic relationship.
2. You don’t feel comfortable being yourself with him.
Your partner is supposed to be the person whom you completely trust, the person you show sides of yourself to that you’re afraid to share with anyone else. So, if the opposite is true and you feel like you have to hide parts of who you are when he’s around, something is definitely wrong with your relationship. If you feel like every part of you is constantly being judged by him and you’re constantly worried that you’re going to disappoint him over small things, it’s not a healthy relationship for you to be in.
3. He easily gets jealous over nothing.
Do you feel on edge when any of your male friends or cow-orkers come up in conversation? Are you afraid to even mention the name of your boss for fear of sending your boyfriend into a fit of jealous rage? Jealousy isn’t something that is cute Jealousy is a relationship killer, even more so when it’s completely unfounded, irrational jealousy spurred on by the mere mention of a person of the opposite sex.
4. You actively avoid him at times.
Most people who are in relationships look forward to coming home to their partner after a long, stressful day at work. If the idea of going home to him makes you anxious for whatever reason, clearly something is up. Obviously, if you’re in a relationship with someone, you should actually like the person and enjoy spending time with him, right? If you go out of your way to stall so you don’t have to see him yet or make excuses to not spend time with him, it’s a pretty big red flag that you’re in a toxic relationship.
5. You’d rather remember the past than think about the future.
The beginning of a new relationship is always pretty special. It’s great to remember those moments and think about how you first fell in love with your guy. But as time goes on, all relationships change, grow, and progress, and with that, our plans for the future usually shift a little bit to include the other person. If you try to avoid any talk about a future together and would instead rather try to remember the days that have already passed, it’s probably because your present isn’t so good and he’s not meant to be in your future.
There are many different signs that you’re in a toxic relationship, but here are a few big red flags that should alert you right away. If you can relate to most or all of these signs of a toxic relationship, then guess what–you’re in one, and it’s time to escape. If you aren’t happy, then walk away, because you deserve to be.
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Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines to be with her husband, David Christopher Hizon, who also happens to be her photographer for most of her writing endeavors. A gamer, a bookworm, an animal lover and a self-proclaimed foodie, she is passionate about everything that she does and hopes that will come across in her writing. Follow her at http://facebook.com/WritersInTandem & http://www.thewritersintandem.wordpress.com