We all meet the love of our lives at different points in time. Some people marry their high school sweetheart, others are NBSB and don’t find the right guy until they are in their 30s or 40s. There’s nothing wrong with doing either; however it becomes a bit of a problem if you’re spending too much of your energy on your love life, especially while you are still in your 20s.
It’s great to date while you’re in your 20s, it’s also great to be single and enjoy life solo. The important thing is that you aren’t focused on finding love in your 20s. It may happen, it may not, but instead of devoting your time to finding the right guy, your 20s are the time to focus on yourself and on becoming the right girl. Here five reasons you shouldn’t focus on love in your 20s:
1. You need to know who you are before you can figure out who you’re meant to be with.
People all mature at different rates, but we can all agree that if you’re still in your 20s, you’re still going to change, probably in some big ways but at the very least in a lot of small ways. Before you can find your perfect match, if such a thing exists, you have to know who you are yourself. Instead of spending energy on trying to find “the one,” spend your 20s learning about yourself so that you know what you want and need out of your relationships.
2. Your 20s are a time to be selfish and to focus on improving yourself.
When you’re in a serious relationship, you have to devote a lot of your time and energy into that relationship to make it work. When you’re in your 20s, you should be devoting that time and energy into yourself instead. Now is the time to be selfish and work on improving yourself. Instead of looking for the perfect guy, become the perfect girl. Take these years to learn new things; become a master chef in your own kitchen, learn how to knit, get a pet and be responsible for it. Learn how to live on your own before you enter any serious commitments.
3. You should be spending your 20s exploring.
A person’s 20s are the best years for exploring, in any form. Explore yourself, explore your sexuality, explore the world. You’re an adult now, which means you have a degree of control over your life and freedom that you didn’t always have. Use this newfound freedom to explore everything and to try new things. Being in a relationship means committing yourself to one person and having to consider them in everything. Instead of focusing on another person, use your 20s to broaden your horizons and take charge of your own life.
4. Your 20s should be used to set up your future stability.
In addition to getting to know yourself better, this is the decade of your life where you will set up the foundation for your future. Take this time to focus on your education or your job, not on a man. Don’t worry about the cute guy from your class and if he’s going to call like he said he would–worry about the test that you have tomorrow morning. If you’re already done with school, focus on where you want to go from here. Trying to choose and to build a career is enough work and stress, and you don’t need to add on the additional stress that comes all too naturally with a serious relationship.
5. Love will find you, you don’t have to go out of your way to find it.
You can’t force love, and it’s not going to happen just because you want it to. Love just happens, when you meet the right guy it should feel right and be the right timing for you. So, you shouldn’t expend all your energy focusing on the wrong things. Build a good foundation for yourself, focus on the things that really matter right now, and love will come to you when it’s meant to happen.
Take the pressure off of your love life; it doesn’t matter how many of your friends are or aren’t in relationships themselves. Take your 20s as the time to learn to stand on your own, and remember–all good things come to those who wait, and that is especially true when it comes to romance.
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Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines to be with her husband, David Christopher Hizon, who also happens to be her photographer for most of her writing endeavors. A gamer, a bookworm, an animal lover and a self-proclaimed foodie, she is passionate about everything that she does and hopes that will come across in her writing. Follow her at http://facebook.com/WritersInTandem & http://www.thewritersintandem.wordpress.com