Marriage changes a lot of things. It makes you discover many things about yourself and your man, and it will definitely change the dynamics of your relationship. I was with my husband for eight years before we got married, and I thought we’ve already had our fair share of love lessons. But the great thing about marriage is you get to discover new things about yourself and your relationship. Here are five of them:
1. You don’t always have to agree on everything.
Don’t like the same TV shows? Don’t agree on the same food? Who says you have to like the same things? My husband’s idea of a good vacation involves being cooped up inside a room with his gadgets and TV. On the other hand, my idea of a great vacation involves, the sun, sea, and sand–and staying at the beach for as long as I can. Knowing our differences allowed us to compromise, and it made us value each other’s perspectives more.
2. You have to set non-negotiables.
You don’t have to agree on everything, but it’s important that the two of you are on the same ground when it comes to the important things: handling finances, having a baby or raising kids, your future plans, dealing with relatives, etc. It’s important that you sit down and talk about these concerns and agree on how you should go about them as a couple.
3. You don’t have to spend all your time together.
Sleeping with and waking up to the same person could be loads of fun, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking moment together. Hang out with your friends, and let him hang out with his. Some people think that married couples are supposed to be with each other all the time, but that shouldn’t be the case. After all, you also need your own space to grow as an individual.
4. But always allot time for bonding.
Having quality alone time every once in a while is great, but make sure that you leave room for bonding sessions just for you and your man. My husband and I love watching movies on weekends, and it has become our sort of tradition. It feels great to share a few laughs while watching a good comedy, or talk about a mind-blowing movie hours after the end credits have rolled.
5. Grow together.
It’s never too late to try something new, and what better way to do it than with your partner? A couple of years ago, my hubby reeled me into taking Japanese language lessons with him. While we certainly have a long way to go, it’s fun to (haltingly) talk in a foreign language, and what little knowledge we have has led us to make our own private jokes. This year, we’re aiming to take up a sport together (I’m hoping I could brainwash him into learning tennis), and I’m looking forward to being healthy with him. It’s great that you both get to expand your horizons together, and you get to build new memories along the way.