Breakups are nasty, and B.S. breakup lines only add insult to injury. It’s bad enough when a relationship ends and the reasons for it are clearly stated and have been discussed between the two of you, but when the guy who’s breaking up with you feeds you a line just to get it over with, it’s especially painful.
Here are five common breakup excuses that are complete bull.
1. “I just need to find myself.”
Sure, he could be legitimately trying to iron out his priorities in life. But if “trying to find yourself” is just an excuse to play the field, well, he shouldn’t play it up as some kind of existential crisis. And if finding out what he wants from a relationship means playing bedroom roulette with too many girls to count, he’d better come clean, because “finding yourself” with an STD won’t exactly help you get over your breakup.
2. “You’re the perfect girl, just not the perfect one for me.”
Can the meaningless flattery, please. For one thing, you’re mature enough to know that no girl is perfect. But rather than tossing you a line, you should have a meaningful, honest conversation about why he thinks you don’t suit—especially if this comes out of the blue for you. And if this line is really just another way of saying “I found the perfect girl for me, and she’s not you,” he should be man enough to admit it.
3. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
This tells you exactly nothing about why he’s really ending the relationship. The truth is, just as it takes two to make a relationship work, it also takes two to make it fall apart. And the “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse is utter BS because the both of you are involved here, and you’re supposed to be working on things together. Does he really mean “I know you still want to fight to stick together, but I’m just going to give up”? Or maybe he means “it’s not you, it’s me because I don’t think you’re worth my time and effort.” Sure, both of those lines would hurt terribly, but they’d go a long way to showing you he’s not worth chasing after—and much more honest than “it’s not you, it’s me.” You know what they say—”‘Pag ayaw, may dahilan; ‘pag gusto, may paraan.”
4. “We’re just too different.”
Stating irreconcilable differences to end a relationship covers a multitude of sins. Maybe you failed to discuss important points like values and relationship goals when you got together. Maybe his mother disapproves of you. Maybe he found someone he likes better. None of those things are explained when a guy says “We’re just too different.” Because the cliche that opposites attract exists for a reason; in fact, being different people is kind of the whole point of learning to know and grow with one another, right? And sure, people change. Maybe after a while, you both find you want different things in life. It’s still important to acknowledge and be honest about the factors that contribute to your breakup instead of tossing out a line like this one.
5. “I’m not sure I can love you the right way.”
Here’s another cliche for him: “When there’s a will, there’s a way.” Relationships provide people with the opportunity to find ways to enjoy being together, to grow as individuals and as a couple, and to find different ways to show how they love each other. The truth is, there’s no “right way” to love someone, even if there are different ways to show someone you love them. Tossing out this BS breakup line is likely his way of saying that he doesn’t actually love you, because if he did, he would make the effort to find the “right way” to show it.
Getting served breakup lines like these ones make you feel even worse about getting dumped than you already do. Why? Because they are never really honest, and the guys who serve them to you make no effort to communicate about the real problems in your relationship. Still, if you need a little help with closure following a breakup that featured one of the lines above, remember that a guy who would use them isn’t worth your time—or your tears.
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Ella Greene loves eating, dyeing her hair with the colors of the rainbow and the idea of being in love. Aside from being an optimistic hopeless romantic, she is also an aspiring rapper. Her free days are spent practicing rhymes in the dark corners of her room.