So you just met a guy. You think he’s prefect and might even be the one. You are even close to telling all your friends about him. But how can you tell whether or not your date is a typical bolero? We list a few warning signs below!
1. It’s always biglaang plano.
Okay, he may be spontaneous. Every Friday night, he calls you to ask where you or what are you doing. If he does not have anything to do, he knows you are there. He seems incapable of working out plans in advance and asking you out the right way. Girl, this guy is turning you into his side dude. Be warned, this is a precursor to a booty call.
2. He’s too vague.
He might come off as brooding and mysterious, even torpe, but if a guy is really into you, he’ll drop the act and be more direct. We’re not saying that you should start planning your wedding and asking him how many children he wants to have. But if he ignores your subtle hints and doesn’t give you straight out answers, he’s not planning a surprise engagement—or possibly even any sort of committed relationship anytime soon.
3. You always end up doing what he wants to do.
Sure, you enjoy clubbing with him and hanging out with his friends. You even have moments of alone time, like when he whispers sweet nothings into your ear as you dance. But if all these things happen if and when he wants them to, you may want to rethink your commitment to him.
4. It’s always your treat or KKB.
This is probably the most obvious sign. You might have a bigger salary or as of the moment, he’s caught in between jobs. But, dear, if you’re the one who always foots the bill, don’t you think you deserve you deserve even a small sign of gratuity? It might be hand-picked flowers or a sweet note; a simple form of affection will be enough to tell you that he likes you more than your money. Be especially suspicious if he makes no effort to be frugal in your relationship, even when it’s your wallet that’s being emptied.
5. He bails on you when things get tough.
You have a family or work crisis, and suddenly he’s gone incognito. It’s all over Facebook that your mom is in the hospital, all yor friends are commenting with words of comfort, but you never hear a peep from him. It might be too emotional, especially if you just started dating the guy two weeks prior, but a guy who’s a keeper will show concern and make the effort to be there for you, even in little ways.
6. His social media feed is full of other women.
He might be Mr. Congeniality, but there’s a line to being friendly and being flirty. Your guy’s page might not be splattered with other girls’ photos, but the comments say something else. It might be an affectionate reply or even a a nickname that he uses, even with you.
7. He talks about his ex way too often.
At first, you find this as a great sign as he knows how to be in touch with his emotions. But when he can’t stop bringing her up again and again, this is a red flag—a sign you could be his rebound girl. If that’s not a problem for you, go ahead–but a guy who’s still hung up on another woman is bad news.
It isn’t true that all the good guys out there are taken, but you do need to exercise discretion to make sure you’re not unwittingly dating a douchebag. Because while you may have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince, there are ways to make sure you weed out the worst of the slime balls without getting your lips involved.
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Ana Valenzuela graduated with a degree in AB Literature from UST. She has written for several media outlets. She is currently taking her Master's from UP.