There are a lot of unspoken rules involved when you’re in a relationship with someone. Some of them are more flexible than others, some are more important than others. Some are super obvious and really don’t need to be expanded on, such as “don’t cheat.” There can also be a lot of grey areas when trying to make a relationship work, but however grey it may get, here’s a few relationship rules that are just plain black and white and should never be broken at any cost.
1. Be honest.
Honesty seems like a pretty basic policy, but sometimes it’s easier said than done. Even those small lies that seem harmless at first can get out of hand before you know it, so you’re far better off just not going there in the first place. Honesty isn’t just about telling the truth, though; it’s also about not holding back information. For example, if you’re thinking of doing something that you feel like you would have to keep secret from your partner, don’t do it in the first place. Once you start being dishonest with your partner, the lies often become bigger and bigger and getting out of control.
2. Talk about problems before they become big.
The best way to prevent fights from happening is to talk about problems before they become a big deal. If there’s a small thing bothering you about something that has been going on in your relationship, don’t hesitate to bring it up even if it seems silly at the time. For example, maybe you feel like a certain girl is getting a little closer to your man than you’d like. It’s not a big deal yet, but talk to your guy about it anyway. Let him know what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling. By doing this, he will be a little more aware of the girl’s actions and if things seem to be heading in the wrong direction with her, he’ll catch onto it sooner and be able to correct the situation before it causes a fight between you and him.
3. Never use sex as a blackmail tool.
Sex is an intimate thing between two people, an expression of love, and it should never be used as a tool of manipulation. Doing so is a surefire way to make your guy resent you and things will just spiral downwards from there. Using sex to blackmail your man into doing or not doing things for you is emotional manipulation and a cruel thing to do. Whether or not you want to have sex is something you always have a say in, of course, but don’t use it to extort and get what you want from your man.
4. Don’t make your man choose between you and his friends.
When you’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, it seems like the only people you need in the world is each other. But once the glamour wears off, you will realize that it’s really not true. You need more than one person to complete your social circle, and so does your guy. You wouldn’t want him to make you choose between keeping your friends or keeping him, so naturally, you should never present him with that ultimatum either. Even if you don’t particularly like his friends, he’s entitled to keep company with who he wants. It doesn’t mean you have to hang out with them too, but never try to make him choose between them and you.
5. Apologize when you mess up.
We all have an innate sense of pride, and sometimes it makes it hard for us to admit when we’re wrong. Part of being in a relationship, though, is swallowing up that pride and saying we’re sorry when we have wronged our partner. Saying those two simple words—”I’m sorry”—can go a long way toward mending issues and restoring a broken relationship, because there is a lot of meaning behind them. That’s why it’s such an important rule to follow when in a relationship. Apologize if you’ve hurt your man. But a bit of a reminder: don’t forget to back up that apology by making amends! If you keep saying sorry without working on your issues or if you keep making the same mistakes over and over again, you’ll find those two words may just start losing their power to heal.
6. Don’t try to change your partner.
It’s not going to work, anyway, so don’t waste your time and effort. When you fall in love with someone, you have to learn to love every bit of them, even the parts that you find a little less pleasant. Instead of trying to change your man, work on yourself. Work on your patience, self-control and compromising abilities. There are no perfect people; everyone has their own flaws, so it’s up to you to decide if you can live with your man’s particular flaws or not—but the chances of you being able to change them are next to none. Everyone will end up unhappy if you try to turn your man into someone he’s just not.
7. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not.
As important as being honest with your man is being honest with yourself. You might have this picture-perfect version of yourself that you wish you were, but you are who you are, and the only way you will be happy is if you learn to accept that. While you can work on becoming the ideal version of yourself that you want to be, never ever pretend to be someone you’re not, especially not for a guy. It’s not fair to either one of you, and you won’t be happy keeping up the pretenses forever.
8. Don’t take your partner for granted.
Relationships are all about give and take, so don’t take more than you can give. Romance doesn’t usually last forever, so be sure to appreciate it while it’s there in the relationship. Make sure to notice the effort he puts into your relationship, and put in the same amount of effort, if not more. You can never tell him that you love him too often, but you can try! Show him with your words and actions that you appreciate him, his love, and the effort he puts into making you happy, and give the same back to him.
A relationship will never be perfect or effortless, but by following all of these rules, it can be happy and meaningful. These rules are essential guidelines for having a respectful, loving relationship and will always be musts as you strive for your happy ending.
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Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines to be with her husband, David Christopher Hizon, who also happens to be her photographer for most of her writing endeavors. A gamer, a bookworm, an animal lover and a self-proclaimed foodie, she is passionate about everything that she does and hopes that will come across in her writing. Follow her at http://facebook.com/WritersInTandem & http://www.thewritersintandem.wordpress.com