It’s a beautiful new year, and many are looking forward to what it may hold for them. Not everyone had the greatest time over the holidays, however, and you may find yourself unable to recover from a recent breakup. It’s normal to be hurt, but you don’t want to waste the opportunities brought along by this new year, so it might be time to think about moving on.
While everyone moves on differently and at different paces, here are some tips to finding reconciliation within your heart. Here’s how you can move on before 2016 escapes you.
1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings.
You might find it helpful to write down the way you are feeling, about yourself, about your ex, and about your general outlook right now. It’s important to acknowledge the feelings that you have. No matter what you or anyone else may think, your feelings are valid and it’s better to admit that you have them and accept them than it is to keep things bottled up inside. In order to move on from the negative emotions, you first have to bring them to the surface and admit that they exist.
2. Ask for closure.
If the relationship that ended wasn’t too volatile, it wouldn’t hurt to ask your ex for one last conversation. Sit him down for a heart to heart. You’re not trying to win him back or making excuses, but airing your thoughts to him, if you can do so in a calm, rational manner, will be helpful for finding closure. One thing that often makes it hard to move on is a lack of closure, and months spent wondering what went wrong and what his real reasons for ending things were. It’s okay to ask him, get his side of things, and get the closure you need so that you can stop thinking about the ended relationship so much.
3. Avoid stalking him on social media.
While getting closure can be very helpful, it doesn’t always happen. Sometimes, the relationship ended on too bad of a note to get together for even one last calm conversation. Or, maybe he’s just avoiding you and doesn’t want to give you the answers that you are asking for. In these cases, it’s probably best to just go no contact. Delete his number, unfriend him on Facebook, unfollow his Instagram, completely cut him out of your life. Cutting off contact may help you to gain clarity of the situation, as well as to finally get him off of your mind for good.
4. Meet new people.
Don’t get trapped in your head, wallowing in your emotions. Put yourself out there and go somewhere that you can meet new people. This doesn’t have to mean meeting guys, or looking for a date, it can just mean looking for new friends. A new relationship, whether it’s romantic or platonic, is a great way to move on and get an old one out of your head.
5. Focus on the present.
Your ex is in the past, it’s time to leave him there. When you find he and your past relationship are on your mind, acknowledge the feelings, as mentioned before, but then find something else to focus on. Don’t waste your energy dwelling on what was, rather you should channel it into something new. Pick up a new hobby, find something that you love to do, and live in the now. Focus on your own happiness.
It’s 2016, and you’re a strong, Modern Filipina. We’re past the era of hiding in a blanket fort with a tub of ice cream for months after a breakup. You’re a busy woman, and have better things to do with your life than wasting time thinking about a guy who really wasn’t worth it in the end. Use these tips to embrace the new year ahead of you, and move on from your past.
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Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines to be with her husband, David Christopher Hizon, who also happens to be her photographer for most of her writing endeavors. A gamer, a bookworm, an animal lover and a self-proclaimed foodie, she is passionate about everything that she does and hopes that will come across in her writing. Follow her at http://facebook.com/WritersInTandem & http://www.thewritersintandem.wordpress.com