As devastating as a breakup seems initially, there are good things that can come out of it, believe it or not. Even if you thought your guy was The One and don’t understand what went wrong in your relationship, some things are meant to end. While you may be heartbroken over the breakup, remember that it is not the end of the world and that you can actually emerge from it stronger than you were before you even started the relationship. Here are some ways that you can use the breakup to emerge as a stronger version of yourself.
1. Reflect on the things you’re passionate about.
Post-breakup is a great time to throw yourself into a new hobby, so take some time to reflect on your heart and the things that make you passionate. What have you always wanted to try but never really had the time for while you were in a relationship? Now is the best time to finally do everything you’ve always wanted to! If you’ve always been passionate about animals, maybe it’s time to get a new pet or volunteer at a local shelter. If you’re passionate about food, take some time to learn new recipes and expand your tastes. Not only are these great distractions, but they are a way to rediscover who you are without your guy.
2. Go back to the things you love.
Just as much as you should be picking up new hobbies, after a breakup is a great time to go back to the things you loved before you were in a relationship as well. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in a relationship that we neglect the smaller things in life, like curling up with a good book or spending some time alone at the beach. You probably got extra free time on your hands now that you don’t have to fit a boyfriend into your schedule, so use it to remember the things that you used to love doing.
3. Reconnect with your friends.
When was the last time you hung out with your friends without a guy at your side? If you can’t remember, it’s been too long. People in relationships tend to get wrapped up in a separate world from their friends. Sure, you may still have gone out on double dates with your coupled friends, but what about your single friends? Sometimes, different relationship statuses can divide friendships into separate categories, so go and mend all the friendships that you may have neglected. Rekindle the friendships you used to have, and make them strong again.
4. Regain your independence.
When you’ve been in a relationship for so long, it’s hard to deal with being alone all of a sudden. Suddenly, you have no date for that wedding next weekend, no one to be at your side making dinner with your parents more bearable, no one to cuddle you when you’re sad. Part of the post-breakup moving on while require you to learn to stand on your own again, you will be forced to regain your independence, and that’s really a good thing for you. It won’t be easy, but it will help you to grow a lot as a person, and it will definitely make you stronger.
5. Learn from your heartbreak.
During every beginning of a new relationship and every end of an old one, we learn from the experiences. Make the most out of your heartbreak and use the opportunity to learn about yourself and about what you need from a relationship. Reflect on what went wrong – not to make yourself feel bad, but to grow from it. Learn from any mistakes you made, if any, and apply what you learn to future relationships.
Learn about what you need out of a relationship; don’t try and blame your ex for everything but try to pinpoint what it was that you needed from him that he couldn’t seem to give. Relationships are like anything else, you get better with practice. See your failed relationship as practice for the real thing.
Above all, don’t let the breakup get you down too much. It’s okay to cry and it’s okay to be sad, but instead of dwelling in that head space, strive to move on, dig yourself out, and make yourself a better, stronger person. Going through a breakup is not the end of the world, so keep telling yourself that until you believe it and can move on.
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Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines to be with her husband, David Christopher Hizon, who also happens to be her photographer for most of her writing endeavors. A gamer, a bookworm, an animal lover and a self-proclaimed foodie, she is passionate about everything that she does and hopes that will come across in her writing. Follow her at http://facebook.com/WritersInTandem & http://www.thewritersintandem.wordpress.com