Cheating has always been and will always be a deal breaker in relationships. It’s a selfish act by your partner for wanting to have you and someone else at the same time. You’re at home waiting for him to have dinner with you while he’s out watching a movie with the girl he’s been flirting with at the office. Sucks, right?
Even worse is the knowledge that your partner has betrayed the trust you have placed in him. The thought of being cheated on is enough to turn anyone nasty, especially when you find out that it isn’t just speculation, but truth. In fact, you may have thought of doing one of these cringe-worthy acts below upon catching your significant other with someone else, but we offer you a few reasons to cease and desist—for your own sake, not his!
1. Assume he’s been unfaithful without any proof.
Why? Because you become paranoid and start doing crazy things. You’re likely going to get yourself into major fights with your guy because you assumed that he’s been having sex with her or that they’ve been seeing each other on a regular basis. Talk to your significant other about your doubts and let him know that you’re not comfortable about him being around the girl so much. Let him know that you know something is going on behind your back but give him the chance to explain. Don’t go pouncing on him every chance that you get. Talk things over and be open to hearing each other out.
If he denies that he is cheating, exhibits no signs of infidelity, and has given you no reason to suspect him, you should also do a self-check and consider that your own trust issues could be sabotaging your relationship. Remember that no one wants a too-possessive partner, and you need to find out if your suspicions are being fueled by your own insecurities. If so, a little soul-searching may be in order.
2. Confront the other woman.
It is tempting to get into a catfight with the third party, especially when you have proof that she was the one who started the affair. While the situation may be in your favor, being the aggrieved party, confronting the girl and pushing her to admit that she’s in the wrong won’t make you look good in front of anyone.
But the truth is, cheating is an issue between you and your partner because it was your partner who broke his promises to you and who betrayed your trust. If another woman set her sights on him knowing he was already in a relationship (and let’s face it, there’s a possibility she might not have known), that’s a question of morals on her part, but the greater crime was his—because there’s no way he “accidentally” cheated on you. The other woman may have been the temptation, but the decision to sin was his.
3. Post about the issue on Facebook.
We’ve seen this so many times on other friends’ posts, and we’ve either blocked or unfriended them. Unless you want to embarrass yourself by airing your dirty laundry in public (and possibly having it go viral), do not post status messages on Facebook about your boyfriend cheating on you with his client or uploading photos of them on IG. It’s just too tacky and unbecoming of a real lady.
It’s also a question of keeping your online image clean. You don’t want a potential employer seeing you post a ton of things that should be kept private and make the assumption that their confidential information would not be safe with you.
4. Be a stalker.
Because, seriously, you’ll only be stabbing the knife into your heart over and over if you try to stalk your guy and his mistress. What will you gain from finding out that they saw a movie you’ve been nagging your guy to see with you or that the reason he was MIA last weekend was because he was in Boracay with the girl in question. Sure, it’s considered proof, but once you have that proof, there is no need to keep putting yourself through the pain of seeing him break your trust over and over again. Because that’s what you’ll be doing.
If you’re already sure that your partner is cheating, there’s no need to become a private investigator and check out the things they’re doing. Let them be and move on with your life. The more time you spend on him, the less you’ll be able to move forward, which means you might be missing out on fun times with friends, self-discovery opportunities, or even the chance to find someone who will truly value you for yourself.
5. Seek revenge on the third party.
Like sending her glitter bomb while she’s at work or sending her colleagues and friends anonymous emails calling her a mistress for ruining your relationship with your man. Neither should you try to rally other enraged women around you and share the other woman’s personal details so they too can start stalking and hurling verbal abuse at her.
Shaming the other party will not get you back into the good graces of your partner (although why you should even want to do this is a question you need to ask yourself). Nor will it end their affair. All it will do is establish you as a petty, vengeful person who dwells on the negative instead of seeking out positive ways to move on from a bad experience. And as we have already said, the bigger portion of the blame in this situation lies with your unfaithful partner, so don’t forget to remember that. As tempted as you might be to hurt people who have caused you pain, intentionally or not, you should resist the urge to enact any sort of revenge. Let karma do that for you.
6. Cheat on your partner.
Just because your significant other cheated on you, it doesn’t justify you cheating on them as well. Just end the relationship as amicably as possible so you can both move on to have healthy relationships with other people. Even if you think he’s incapable of having a healthy relationship, you shouldn’t deny yourself the chance to have one.
Cheating with others will only make you feel miserable because of the constant lying and hiding that you need to do. You will find that it turns you into a person you may not like, and it may turn off the people who would support you otherwise. Remember, two wrongs don’t make a right! You also run the risk of hurting the guy you cheat with, especially if he doesn’t know you’re in a relationship, just because another person hurt you. You don’t want to play “pay it forward” when it comes to pain and mistrust. This could also hurt your chances of having a good relationship with someone else later on, as people are reluctant to trust someone who has a history of cheating, whatever the circumstances.
Getting cheated on hurts like hell. Doing something bad because you’ve been hurt by your partner is not the right way to correct things that have gone wrong. This particular relationship may not have been the one for you, but it made you stronger and wiser. Remember to take the moral high ground in this situation. That way, whether or not he gets his comeuppance, you’ll be a better, stronger person. The best “revenge” you can have on your guy is moving past this and finding love and fulfillment and that happily ever after elsewhere.
Featured image from No Other Woman via Star Cinema