Breakups are messy and they are never easy. Going through this sensitive, emotional and stressful process is difficult.
But breakups are not just about pain and hurt. Every pivotal experience–no matter how heartbreaking–can provide us important life lessons. Here are five insights we learned by going through breakups:
1. Relationships require will and effort–and not just kilig.
After a breakup, you will realize that love isn’t enough to make a relationship work. It’s basically just like exercising. You need to have the will because otherwise, you’ll get burnt out. You need to love what you do and you must exert a lot of effort. After all, a toned body won’t just happen, you have to constantly work hard for it.
2. Things just don’t work out for a reason.
I won’t romanticize this one. Your relationship didn’t work out because brace yourself, you both screwed up. It didn’t work out because you (or he) might be too focused on work or your interests and perspectives just don’t match. Whatever the reason is, there was a serious problem in your relationship that you felt was beyond repair.
3. You can love again–and you will be loved again.
No one is irreplaceable. You can love again and someone else out there will definitely love you even more than the way your ex-boyfriend did.
4. You don’t need another person to be happy.
Who says you have to be dependent on your ex for happiness? You have the power to make yourself happy. Singlehood is definitely a time to be cherished, so make the most out of it.
5. Self-love is the most important kind of love.
Gone were the days when self-love was regarded as a selfish and narcissistic concept. When you love yourself, you are more confident, more assured and more stable. You know that you don’t need anyone to complete you and prove your worth because you complete you and you know your worth. At the end of the day, you only have yourself and when you love yourself, it’s more than enough already. Besides, without a stable and healthy intrapersonal relationship, you won’t be able to build fruitful interpersonal relationships.
Kick that heartbreak in its face! Take advantage of the breakup and don’t let it take advantage of you. All these lessons, when learned and applied, can make you an emotionally healthy, emotionally strong and emotionally independent modern Filipina.
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A 20-year old girl who has a big heart for the local indie music scene, sunflowers, cats, summer, art, city lights, beaches and anything and everything vibrant. She's currently into PR, Events and Marketing and cheerfully works for freebies, free passes and free food. Say hi on twitter and instagram, @yzatolentino.