Just like everything else in this fast-paced era, the needs of a woman are ever changing and ever growing. Modern women have truly learned to embrace their inner strength, and while a woman may invest a lot of time and energy in advancing her career as well as her own personal interests and hobbies these days, most women are still making time for love in their life. It’s not always easy to balance it all, though, and it really takes a special kind of man to be able to keep up with a strong, independent woman. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and you shouldn’t settle for just anyone who comes along. With that in mind, here are 10 things we think every modern Filipina should look for in a life partner.
1. It doesn’t hurt his ego to let you pick up the tab once in a while.
A guy who can’t let a woman pay the dinner bill (or at least split the check) from time to time with the claim “it’s a man’s job to pay” has an ego problem, end of story. Even if it seems like a small thing now, it should be a huge red flag to you because it points to bigger issues in the future. How many other gender stereotypes is he going to be stuck on? Is he going to have problems with you making more money than him? A strong woman has to have a man that doesn’t feel insecure by these kinds of things, or it’s going to force the two of you to butt heads in the future.
2. He respects you—as a woman and as a person.
Men and women will always be different from each other, but neither gender is superior. He respects your needs as a woman—but more than that, he respects your needs, goals, hopes, and desires as a person. Your thoughts and dreams are no less important than his. He sees you as his equal—because you are! A strong woman needs a man who respects this, and doesn’t try to make you feel inferior to him in any way.
3. He has his own goals and dreams, and they don’t necessarily have to involve you.
While in some situations, opposites certainly attract, there are certain times where your needs need to match his. If you’re an independent woman hoping to do big things with your life, you need someone who can keep up with your pace instead of keeping you stuck in one place. He should be driven to reach for his own dreams as well, and while your relationship should be of course taken into consideration, it shouldn’t be his primary focus in life if it’s not yours too.
4. He should be loyal and supportive of your decisions.
Even though you don’t need his approval, it still feels good to have it. Since you’re probably going to do what you want anyways, it’s definitely a more pleasant journey if he is on board with you from the start. A strong woman needs a man who will support her on her journey and encourage her to reach for the stars, even if he’s not so sure she can make it.
5. He isn’t afraid to challenge you.
A strong woman is always looking to improve and better herself, and having a life partner that can not only keep up with you but also challenge you to push yourself is ideal. When he knows you can do better, he should try to help you get there—even if you don’t appreciate the extra push at the moment, you will most likely be grateful for it later. He should help you reach above and beyond your goals, always with the faith and confidence in knowing you can do it.[crp]
6. He’s forgiving when you’re stubborn.
The independent, modern woman comes with a strong will—and sometimes, you might overdo it. While you want to be in control of your own life, no matter what, being in a relationship means making compromises for each other, and that can be extra hard for a strong woman to do. You still need to give your man’s needs consideration, but when you mess up, knowing that he will understand where your stubbornness comes from and will forgive you for it is endlessly comforting. Just try not to take advantage of it!
7. He gives you space and understands when you need it.
Every woman just needs a break from reality from time to time. Whether it’s your job, your friends, or something else in your life that’s just not going right at the moment, or even if it’s your guy who is causing your frustration, you need a man who can tell when to leave you alone. Whatever this means to you—whether it’s a girl’s night out, a weekend alone at the beach, or just curling up under a blanket and not wanting to be bothered—a strong woman needs a guy who understands that it’s just the way you work sometimes and that he shouldn’t take it personally.
8. His life doesn’t revolve around you.
He has his own friends, just like you do. He doesn’t need your permission to go out with the boys for a beer, just like you don’t need to ask his permission to hang out with your ladies. He’s not too clingy, he understands and respects that you are more than capable of being in charge of your own life, just as he is. He understands that your separate existences are not dependent on each other—you choose to be with him because you love him, not because you need him, and he’s okay with that.
9. He’s secure in your relationship.
He trusts you. He knows you are where you said you would be, and if you didn’t say where you would be, he’s perfectly okay with that too. For an independent woman, few things are as annoying as having a partner who constantly feels the need to check up on what you’re doing, where you are, or who you’re with. A strong woman has to have a partner that’s secure with himself and with your relationship. You made a commitment to him, and that’s all he needs to know.
10. He still knows how to make you feel special to him.
You know you’re a beautiful, strong, special woman. He knows that you know it. But he also knows that you still like to hear it from him on occasion. Even though you may already be confident in your own skin, we all want to feel loved and he knows this. Everyone shows their love in a different way, be it verbal compliments, bringing home your favorite takeout, or just taking care of the housework once in a while—your man knows how to let you know what you mean to him, and he knows that you still like it despite your independent, strong, sometimes stubborn exterior.
Have you gotten to this point and put a check mark through all 10 of these items? That’s great! Why don’t you show your man a little love and thank him for being the best partner a woman could have?
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Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines to be with her husband, David Christopher Hizon, who also happens to be her photographer for most of her writing endeavors. A gamer, a bookworm, an animal lover and a self-proclaimed foodie, she is passionate about everything that she does and hopes that will come across in her writing. Follow her at http://facebook.com/WritersInTandem & http://www.thewritersintandem.wordpress.com