Joy has been a vegan for over 20 years. She's…
Horror movies fail the moment they begin because you know the whole point is to scare you. The element of surprise is gone, so you expect that someone’s going to get killed in the first few minutes or some creature is going to enter the frame.
Wes Craven’s Scream took on this issue with the spooky genre; the meta horror flick listed the many things that are wrong with horror movies, most of which have to do with the stupid things people do when things go sideways:
Characters in horror movies just have to — have to check out stuff in dark places
- They split up
- They check out weird sounds
- They go into dark basements
- They always trip during a chase scene
- They have sex in unusual places
Tripping is sure to happen when someone’s running in a horror movie
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t dislike horror movies. There are good ones that have been made, from the old flicks, The Shining and The Exorcist, to the new movies, The Conjuring and Get Out. Then there are these, shining examples of how horror movies can quickly shift genres and tickle your funny bone.
Fights with the Dead
Nothing can make a woman rise from virtual death quite like the scene of her man getting beaten to a pulp by a headless reanimated corpse.
The Funniest Looking Creatures
Oh no, what’re we going to do? How can we, tall people with opposable thumbs, defeat this tiny baked beast?
The Senseless Plot
Why trolls need to turn humans into plants before devouring them is a mystery. It’s a twisted take on vegetarianism.
The Sickest Death Scenes
So many ways to die when you’re a character in an ‘80s slasher flick. And when the scene is set in a camping ground, you know where you’re going to end up (or is it down). The horror — the horror.
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Joy has been a vegan for over 20 years. She's done a wide range of stories for magazines, from music and movies to business and culture matters. She continues to write professionally to this day — like, right this very minute.