Entering a romantic relationship with someone involves a lot of trial and error. While others are lucky to marry their first boyfriend, it doesn’t happen to many of us. Breaking up with someone can be difficult for many reasons, but more than anything else, you should look after your heart and yourself and maintain self-respect.
If you are having doubts about whether to let him go or not, check these reasons out on why it may be time to end your relationship:
1. He refuses to compromise.
You can’t always expect that you and your partner will have the same opinions all the time. However, the key to an understanding relationship is two parties who are both willing to compromise, which requires respect for each other’s feelings, values, and beliefs. It’s a clear warning sign if the only choice he’s willing to consider is the one he finds ideal for him. You should also have a say in the relationship because it should be a two-way street.
2. He abuses you physically, verbally, or emotionally.
A man who has physically and verbally abused a woman should be left once and for all. You don’t deserve a partner who can hurt you like that. It may be possible that he’s fine at other times and you really love him, but think long term: do you want to be trapped in this kind of relationship? Many women might think that they can change their partner, but I personally believe that once he’s like that, if his ill temper is triggered once again, then he can do it again. Plus, it might just be that staying with him will only reinforce and reward his behavior, which you need to let him know is not okay. He shouldn’t be allowed to control you or put you down, regardless if he does it with words or actions.
3. He does not support you.
If he gets envious of your achievements and discourages you from actualizing your dreams, he’s probably not good for you. Your partner should be supportive and should inspire you to become the best version of yourself. He may drag you down by always wallowing in self-pity and focusing in the negative side of life.
4. He cheats on you.
Some people argue that there can be a point in a relationship when someone may cheat to experiment whether he/she will rather be with anyone else, but he/she should be given another chance if he/she comes back. But here’s the thing. When a man cheats on you, the sticking point for your relationship shouldn’t be that someone else gained his interest. It should be that he acted on his interest while committed to you. This is the equivalent of a broken promise, and taking him back is a way of saying it’s okay for him to do that.
What’s more, if he lied to you or tried to hide his transgression from you, that’s not just about a lapse in judgment; that’s willful dishonesty, and it has no place in a healthy relationship. Sure, forgiveness is a good thing, but just because you might eventually forgive him doesn’t mean he should be welcomed back into a position of trust he hasn’t earned.
5. He takes you for granted.
Appreciation is also a component of a healthy relationship. Even if you don’t ask for anything in return, it feels great to be acknowledged. It doesn’t need to be grand, but a simple gesture like him reminding you that he’s thankful for having you is enough. For example, he makes time for you no matter how busy he is.
6. Your relationship goals don’t match his.
You both have to be in the same page, or else where is your relationship headed? If he doesn’t believe in marriage, where does that leave you? Are you fine with that? If he doesn’t want to have babies in the future, but you do, can you come up with a compromise? If you answered no to these questions, it’s clearly saying that your relationship has a bleak future.
7. You don’t love him anymore.
This should be the easiest reason to let go of someone, but unfortunately, not all have the strength to break-up with their partners for many reasons like guilt, being emotionally blackmailed, feeling pity especially if it’s already a long-term relationship, etc.
Instead of fooling yourself and pushing yourself to someone you don’t love anymore, the first step is to be honest with yourself. By fooling yourself, you are fooling your boyfriend, too. If there is someone else that you are liking, please don’t be a two-timer, have the decency to break-up with your boyfriend first.
And if the feeling is just lost, just be honest with him, too, so that both of you can be set free.
At the end of the day, if you’re still confused, just remember a wise movie line from The Perks of Being a Wallflower: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” It’s your love life, only you have a say in it. Know your worth and don’t waste time on people who don’t value it.