We all know a toxic person.
In public transport or a coffee shop, we often encounter toxic people in the guise of self-righteous and insensitive civilians who scream at workers. Some of us can name a friend (or two) who exhibits toxic qualities while others struggle to leave toxic relationships that cause them much pain and distress.
I know people who have complained of toxic bosses and even a few who have to live with their toxic family members. Toxic people are everywhere.
Bottomline is: toxic people exist.
The silver lining to that, however, is despite their looming and heavy presence, you can avoid them. In fact, you can even cut them off. For good.
The first step to getting rid of the toxic people in your life is recognizing their negative behavior.
They are great at making you feel like you’re at fault. They will constantly berate you for what you’ve done wrong when, in fact, they were the ones doing it all along (i.e., talking crap about you to others). They will impose their insecurities on you, and you will almost be convinced that they are true, that the insecurities are, indeed, yours. And more often than not, their manipulative tendencies and passive aggression are swept under the rug, never to be spoken of. Because if you do try to talk about their flaws, they will just lash back at you and play the victim.
But the moment you identify these signs, you can put a stop to your relationship.
Draw the Line
There are two ways to go about ending your relationship with toxic people: 1. You talk about it, or 2. You leave without saying a word.
Give them The Talk. Be as honest as you can and as firm as possible. Settle things in a kind, warm tone without letting them know how you feel and how you think this decision is the best for the both of you.
On the other hand, you can also do the latter. Cutting them off all of a sudden may sound rash but, sometimes, it’s the only peaceful way out. People react differently to various situations. If you anticipate a difficult or violent reaction from the toxic person involved, a silent retreat could be the most viable option.
Block Them on Social Media
The internet is great, but it also gives toxic people opportunities to provoke you. To cut ties completely, remove them from your Friends list and unfollow them on Twitter. If you’re feeling a little brave, block them on all platforms. This gives you more space to breathe and sets stricter boundaries.
Follow the Grieving Process
It’s normal to grieve the people you lose, no matter how awful they were to you. Let yourself be sad for a while but don’t let this disillusion you or change your mind.
Don’t Blame Yourself
Some people completely turn the tables towards themselves and take the blame for everything that happened. This is a common effect of toxic people on others: you’ll always feel like you did something wrong, even if you didn’t. Refuse to let that poison your head and don’t let other people tell you otherwise.
Surround Yourself with People Who Lift You Up
By letting go of the toxic people in your life, you will inevitably meet people who are good for you. The ones who motivate you to be better instead of talking down to you all the time.
We don’t always meet those kinds of people. Stick to them and keep them around – you’ll be happy you did.