In the world of dating, it’s unusual, if not objectionable, for an average girl to bag a hot guy and vice versa.
We can argue all day about the importance of personality in a relationship, but when it comes to choosing who to pursue, physical appearance still dominates. A relationship thrives on balance, and while you live in a society that values appearance more than substance, anything can tip the scales.
When you’re people-watching at the mall and you spot a couple, one is so-so, and the other is the whole package, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?
I’d bet my money you’ll only point it on two things: money or true love.
Now imagine yourself (your barely average self) dating the guy you’ve been gushing over for months. He has everything you ever wanted – good looks, that effortless charm, the smarts, an exciting personality, not to mention he chose you of all people.
You may have your head in the clouds right now, but when you get your feet back on the ground, you’ll start to realize that dating a more attractive guy has as many cons as pros.
Con: You’re practically invisible
When you obsessively scroll through, say Chris Hemsworth’s Instagram feed, do you pay attention to his wife, Elsa Pataky? You most certainly don’t. Or if you do, it’s that of envy. You might even find yourself sating “She’s so lucky.” But 99 percent of the time, you have your eyes on the one true reason you’re there: Chris’ godly, gorgeous body, chiseled face, and dazzling smile. Now picture yourself as Elsa Pataky. Sure, you have your redeeming qualities. You are a goddess in your own right. I mean, Chris Hemsworth married you. But in the eyes of another girl, you’re either the subject of envy or a nuisance, someone who’s meant to be cropped out of a girl’s fantasy. Now whether that’s a good or bad thing, it’s up to you.
Con: Your flaws become more noticeable
Getting into a relationship is a bad idea if you have a small ego. Even if you started out confident at the onset of the relationship, you’d start noticing even the minutest details that set you apart from your more blessed S.O.
Even if you lay it down to your S.O. that you have self-esteem issues and he does his best to reassure you, your insecurities will likely get inflamed once you see girls on his wavelength throw themselves at him. You’ll end up compensating for this, and it could result in ugly fights, especially when your insecurities start to creep into your sex life. If you find yourself wanting to turn off the lights more often, or hold back from doing stunts or positions you were once so confident about, it’s time to sit things down with your S.O.
More often than not, your S.O. doesn’t mind or see what you see. But it still warrants an honest conversation. If he’s done enough to appease your worries, but you still feel anxious, then you’ll need to reevaluate yourself and find new ways to rebuild your confidence.
Pro: Not all hot guys are players
Dating a hot guy means you’re always on the lookout for girls vying for his attention. Your intuition and protective instincts are always turned on. While these traits are often good to have and prevent you from getting hurt, it’s best to give your S.O. the benefit of the doubt. After all, not all hot guys are players.
You’ll be surprised by how faithful they can be, even more than the “feeling” gwapos out there. My advice? Trust in the person you chose. If you think that your relationship is going smooth and steady, don’t sabotage it by snooping on his phone or suspecting every girl who interacts with him as having other agendas.
If you built your relationship brick by brick, it wouldn’t be easy to break it down, unless you do it yourself by being perpetually paranoid, anxious, and insecure. If you do catch him cheating, feel free to summon your inner tigress. If you can bag a hot guy like him, it’ll be easy to find a replacement.
Pro: There’s something in you other girls don’t have
On the bright side (the only side you should be looking at), the reason your hot S.O. chose you is because you have qualities he didn’t find elsewhere. You may not look like the stunning celebrity he used to have for a wallpaper, but you’re the reason he’s always on his phone, sending you a selfie and asking how your day was, not paying attention to anyone else but you. He’s proud of who his girlfriend is, so celebrate that fact.
Remember, it’s not your boyfriend’s fault he’s good-looking. You, on the other hand, have a choice not to let your insecurities take over the relationship. You can either revel in the fact that he gets all the attention or feels threatened by it, or simply not care. Try seeing him as your equal, the way he most likely sees you. Appearance may be a big factor when finding a mate, but it’s not what makes relationships last.