Dealing with exes can be tricky territory, especially if there are still feelings involved on either side. This makes things extra complicated if you need to get in touch with them for some reason, especially if they’ve decided to go “no contact” on you and aren’t responding to your texts or calls.
If you find yourself waiting to hear back from your ex–whether it’s about getting your favorite t-shirt back or you’re hoping to get back together–here are five reasons that you should stop waiting.
1. He doesn’t need your help.
If you’re waiting to hear back from him because you think he needs your help for something, stop yourself right there. Maybe he’s going through a hard time right now, and you want to be there for him. If you’re hoping he will reach out to you, even if it’s in a totally platonic manner, well, it’s time to realize that doing so is not your responsibility anymore. It is not your job to be there for him and comfort him, that’s what he has family and friends for. You’re his ex now, it’s time to act like it and realize that you can’t keep being his shoulder to cry on and you need to let go.
2. You’re making yourself a “fallback” option.
You guys broke up. Whoever initiated it, it happened. So stop waiting for him to come back to you. All you’re doing is letting go of your own dignity and making yourself a fallback option for him. You’re saying, “Hey, even if you don’t think I’m good enough for you right now, I’ll wait.” You’re making yourself available to someone who doesn’t want you–and you deserve better than that. You are good enough, whether he sees it or not, and you deserve to be with someone who knows that, so stop being his backup plan and quite waiting for him to call you.
3. You’re not going to get an apology.
Maybe you really don’t want him back, you just want to hear him admit that he did wrong and that he feels bad about it. I’m sorry to tell you but that’s just not going to happen. Closure is a fickle thing, and when a relationship ends on bad terms you may never get it. It’s better to just let go and free him from your mind than to demand answers that you’ll probably never get. Maybe he secretly is sorry but would never admit it, maybe he’s really not sorry and doesn’t realize how much he hurt you; either way it’s time to stop waiting for an answer.
4. You can get a new favorite shirt.
If you left your favorite shirt at his place and have been hounding him to get it back, it might just be time to let go of the shirt for good. After all, it may have been your favorite, but you have plenty of others. You’ll have a new favorite soon enough, or you could even buy the same shirt again. If he hasn’t responded to your flood of texts yet about getting your things back, he’s probably not planning to return them. It’s possible he even threw them out already in order to get things that reminded him of the failed relationship out of his head. If he hasn’t responded yet, assume that he doesn’t have it anymore and stop waiting for him to come by and drop it off.
5. You need to move on.
Whatever your reasons may be for waiting for him to get back to you, it’s keeping you from moving on which is the last thing you need right now. It’s time to put him out of your head, accept that the relationship is over and he’s no longer a part of your life, and stop thinking about him so that you can move on with your life. The more that you think of him, for whatever reason, the more that he just stays a part of your life, even if it’s not physically. There’s no good reason to be putting your life on hold waiting to hear from someone who may or may not ever respond.
You don’t need a man in your life to get by, and you certainly don’t need your ex. He’s your ex for a reason, so leave him in the past where he belongs, don’t keep waiting, jumping at your phone every time it goes off just in case it’s him. You’re better than that, so it’s time to believe in yourself and move forward without him.
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Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines to be with her husband, David Christopher Hizon, who also happens to be her photographer for most of her writing endeavors. A gamer, a bookworm, an animal lover and a self-proclaimed foodie, she is passionate about everything that she does and hopes that will come across in her writing. Follow her at http://facebook.com/WritersInTandem & http://www.thewritersintandem.wordpress.com