In a time full of “instants” — 3G internet, text messages, fast food, and one-step food preparations — relationships can also be fast-paced. This actually causes some women to get turned off by the idea of dating nowadays. Sure, it can be fun, but the risk is just too much for some. I personally have some friends who are scared of getting attached because they constantly see men getting sick of their partners and look for new ones in no time at all. It seems that the world lacks serious and committed men nowadays!
But then there are women who are still so hopeful that in the midst of a time where flings and one-night stands are in, they are convinced that they will still meet a man who can meet their standards and prove to them that, “hey, this isn’t the end of chivalry, after all.” There’s nothing wrong with being hopeful. However, if you’re hoping to find a man who will perfectly fit your standards, I’m sorry to burst your bubble: you’ll only end up disappointed. You’ll always think that your man isn’t enough because there could be someone better out there.
Wait up and wake up, you smart woman! If your man gets along well with you and your loved ones, it’s time to look past the insignificant flaws – like not meeting your 6 ft. height standard, not being too buff, or not being very sporty – and just be happy.
Focus on the good stuff about him – the real things that matter.
Does he find time for you? No matter how busy he is, he should be able to find time to spend with you within his busy schedule if he cares about you. Does he appreciate you and the little things you do for him? Does he treat you and the people you care about well? Do you feel comfortable being yourself around him? If you feel insecure acting weird and showing him your idiosyncrasies, you might have a problem up your sleeve.
Does he make you feel special? Now, I’m not talking about candle-lit dinners and grandiose surprises here. But if, for example, the little and random things that you said in the past and you feel special because of it, that’s it! Also, is he independent and strong? Let’s admit it: we don’t want a partner who will easily give up on something and who can’t sustain himself. These are at least some of the things that matter — things you should never miss when thinking of to-date-or-not-to-date.
Find out also what kind of partner you are looking for.
Are you looking for a boyfriend material or a potential future husband? If you’re still experimenting, but still want someone who can commit, go ahead and look for someone who is boyfriend material. If you’ve decided that you want a long-lasting relationship that you can take to the next level, though, make sure that you look for someone who can go beyond mere boyfriend material.
A man who is boyfriend material can be fun to be with, but isn’t necessarily someone you could spend everyday with at home. You might not see him as a future husband just yet, but you can see yourself going on gimiks, playing video games and being silly with him. A serious future with this kind of go-with-the-flow guy might be blurry at best. A man who is husband material, on the other hand, is someone who is already stable and responsible, and isn’t easily carried away by his emotions. Bonus points if he loves kids and is a true-blue family man.
Knowing what you want will help you gauge what to expect from a man who’s pursuing you and from a man that you are eyeing.
Be prepared to see his flaws and mistakes along the way.
While getting to know a man better, don’t be afraid to give him a chance despite his flaws and mistakes, as long as they are still acceptable. It might be smooth sailing at first, but there will come a time when your ideals will be shattered by the reality that he has limitations and that he cannot meet every expectation that you have. Just don’t expect him to sweep you off your feet everyday. Even the getting-to-know-each-other-phase may come with some slap-in-the-face situations to prepare you for the future.
“Mr. Perfect” is not perfect per se. “Perfect” in this sense is simply the imperfect man who complements you. Don’t think that your relationship is automatically doomed just because you weren’t able to tick off all of the standards on your list. Even those flawless-looking men in movies and magazines make mistakes. So, if you have a potential partner in your midst, give him room for mistakes and imperfections. After all, you aren’t perfect, either – are you?