After months of shying away, your crush has finally asked you out. But you couldn’t say yes or no, so you leave him hanging with a “I’ll think about it.” Sometimes, the right time, the right person, and the right opportunity is already there, but you cannot make the decision to take it. With everything falling into place, sometimes we wonder why some are still on the fence about dating. Here are some of the excuses given to not go on dates.
1. Wala akong pera!
Who says you have to spend A LOT of money to find your S.O.? There are a lot of ways to go on a date without breaking the bank. But seriously, if money is the only thing stopping your from going on a date with the cutie in the office, why not save a few bucks by avoiding your regular coffee breaks for now? Aside from setting aside some budget for your bills and monthly responsibilities, try to create a “dating” fund. Dating is still a way for you to unwind and relax, so it can be part of your lifestyle savings. Save a portion of your money that you can use for your dates. Otherwise, ask your date if you’ll be going Dutch. Who knows? Your date may actually prefer you not spending a dime for your date.
2. I don’t have the time.
Everyone’s busy, that’s already a given. But you should always remember to keep balance in your life. So if you have time for yourself, for work, for family, and for friends, try squeezing some time for your love life. How long do dates last? Maybe an hour or two (unless you really like your date, you would probably want to extend to more than that). Take Ted Mosby as an example: he went out with Stella on a five-minute date because that’s all the time she could afford! However, that didn’t stop them from trying to get to know each other. So, stop limiting yourself and start making time to get to know someone interesting.
3. I’m too shy to date.
According to a study published in the Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Journal, shy people are considered highly sensitive. They process information more thoroughly than others. How does that affect dating? Well, it means shy people are having a hard time meeting new people because they would like to take their time in considering if they would actually like to meet them. Most often, they need time to warm up to others and often feel awkward in dating situations. If this is the case, try learning more about your date before saying yes to their invitation. Learn about him through his Facebook profile or Twitter feed. If you find this person interesting, then say yes to going out. If you’re still scared and shy, tell your date about it and ask if you can talk via phone or chat first, so you can warm up to him or her. This way, when you meet in person, you won’t feel too pressured since you’ve had interactions beforehand.
4. My family still needs me.
Because our culture dictates that we should take care of our family, some make it their excuse to not go on dates. First, going on one date won’t hurt your family (unless you are assigned to clean the house on the day of your date–and in any case, you can easily solve this by simply rescheduling the date). Second, even if things go well and you start dating exclusively, this shouldn’t affect your responsibility to your family. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you will no longer take care of your family. So chill, go on that date with your crush. Your parents and siblings will understand.
5. No one likes me.
Ok, stop. No, this is not true. This fear of being rejected shouldn’t be an excuse for not going out to find your true love–simply because everyone is beautiful and awesome in their own way. Maybe some dates will be great and others won’t be, but it’s not the end of the world. You go on dates to find someone you like to get to know them. If you do not like what you find out about that person, then you make the decision of not going into a relationship with him/her. This works both ways, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find someone whom you just “click” with. So stop worrying that no one will like you. That is impossible. Repeat after me: I am beautiful. I am awesome.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Relax. Everything will be fine. Go on, say yes to going on a date with your prospective S.O. Don’t be afraid to go on dates. You’ll get to know more people and expand your perspective in love. Have fun and enjoy!
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Lorey is a small girl with a big appetite for love, life, culture, and food. Yes, most especially, food.