Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines…
Dating is all about getting to know someone on a more intimate level, and usually this takes a bit of time to do. It takes time to figure out if the guy that you have been seeing is the one for you. However, it generally takes a lot less time to discover when a guy is super wrong for you.
The signs are often there from the start–a jerk can’t hide his true colors for very long. Or maybe he’s not a jerk, but there are other glaring reasons that the relationship will never last. Here are five reasons you should stop wasting your time with the guy you’ve been seeing and dump him before you get any more invested in the relationship.
1. He looks at other women right in front of you.
Guys will look at other girls, that much is pretty much inevitable. You can’t pretend you’ve never lingered a little too long while looking at a photo of some hot male celebrity. But he should at least have enough decency and respect for you to not be blatantly obvious about it right in front of you. If your guy is constantly checking out or even complimenting the appearances of other women right in front of you with no regard to your feelings, he’s showing a lack of respect for you as well as for women in general, and you should dump him.
2. His goals are incompatible with yours.
As hard as you may be willing to try to make things work, sometimes it’s just better to go before you get invested. When it comes to major life goals, your man’s plans should line up with yours at least to some degree. For example, if it has always been your dream to travel, free from the constraints of children or pets, but he wants to stay in your hometown forever with a house full of little ones, someone will end up very unhappy, that’s a guarantee. Don’t go the route of the star-crossed lovers; break it off before you get in too deep and someone ends up hurt or resentful later on.
3. He lacks ambition.
You’re never going to get anywhere if you don’t have any goals in life, or if you have goals but don’t actually make any effort to achieve them. If your man talks about what he wants out of the future but never makes an effort to actually accomplish anything, it’s going to be a real drag–both on your relationship and on any plans for a future together. A guy who has no drive and is content to just sit back and play video games(not that there’s anything wrong with gaming itself!) while you do all the back-breaking work is a guy who is unworthy of your time and devotion.
4. He’s inconsiderate in bed.
We Modern Filipinas are well past the day and age where sex was supposed to be all about pleasuring the man, and women’s sexual pleasure was disregarded and female orgasms thought to be nothing more than a myth. A guy who is selfish in bed is going to be selfish in other aspects of his life as well. If your man doesn’t put the same amount of effort into giving you pleasure as you put into making him feel good (for example, a guy who expects to receive oral stimulation without being willing to reciprocate), he’s a jerk even if you can’t see it elsewhere.
5. He doesn’t support you.
When I say he doesn’t support you, I’m not talking financially, I’m talking emotionally. He doesn’t support your goals, your dreams, or even your opinions. As an example, think about the last time you had a minor argument with his mother. Did he jump in to defend you or her? Your guy doesn’t have to agree with everything you say or do, but when he chose to commit to you as your partner, he made an unspoken commitment to support you above all else. It’s okay for him to disagree with you, but it should never look as though he’s constantly choosing someone else over you – not even his own mother. If he constantly takes other people’s sides and belittles your opinions, it’s time to dump him for sure.
We all fall for the wrong people sometimes, it’s a sad part of life but it happens. The best thing that you can do is recognize for yourself when you’re with the wrong guy, a guy who’s incompatible with you or doesn’t show you the respect you deserve, and get out of the relationship before you get too invested in him. You are in charge of your own happiness, so don’t let any man take charge and make you unhappy.
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Abby is from the USA and moved to the Philippines to be with her husband, David Christopher Hizon, who also happens to be her photographer for most of her writing endeavors. A gamer, a bookworm, an animal lover and a self-proclaimed foodie, she is passionate about everything that she does and hopes that will come across in her writing. Follow her at http://facebook.com/WritersInTandem & http://www.thewritersintandem.wordpress.com