Yes, he’s a chauvinistic pig for wanting to end your near-perfect relationship; thus spiraling you into a psychotic frenzy of jealousy and rage (or was that just me?). But even if the world seems unfair and all is working against you, you need time to step back, take a few deep breaths and assess the situation at hand. Because really, sometimes, it’s not him, it’s you.
And it’s funny, after interviewing a number of decent men, they gave pretty reasonable answers that will make any girl realize that a relationship is a dialogue and not a one way street towards your heart.
1. “When a girl has too much pride and doesn’t know when she’s wrong.”
Men can be frustrating, and they often fail at understanding the female psyche, so at times it can seem easier to quip a few nasty lines at your beau instead of admitting fault. But with our hectic schedules and our innate modern talent for multitasking, the stress can take a toll on our emotional IQ and render us less receptive to the emotions of others. So loosen up and know when to raise the white flag from time to time.
.2. “When a girl is okay with whatever you do without letting you know she’s already hurt.”
Ah, the hybrid. This is a complicated mix of the extreme girlfriend qualities of overly attached and extra meek. Guys love it that a girl is cool with their lifestyle but they respect a woman who give voice to her feelings without requiring her guy to play guessing games or use tactics like guilt-tripping and tampo.
3. “When a girl becomes too possessive to the point of unreasonable.”
“Who’s that girl with you in the photo? Why are you talking to your female officemates?” We tend to hit the crazy note a few times in a relationship but that can go a leap too far if it persists throughout your time together. Guys appreciate the attention of their woman, but a constricting, clingy type who constantly checks up on them or needs to be reassured is the biggest turnoff.
4. “When a girl tries to change my lifestyle to fit hers.”
We women fall in love with a guy for who he is but don’t expect them to change their whole life to revolve around yours. This is especially true for athletes who need to devote most of their time to training or doctors who are constantly on-call. So if you can’t beat em’, join em’ (get fit together or maybe take up a hobby or raket you can work on when he has to work long hours).
5. “When a girl changes completely from the time we were together.”
A relationship can make a quick 180-degree turnaround as soon as it goes past friendship and into something more serious. Men will fall for who you are and not for what you can bring to the table (most of the time, at least). So being a girlfriend shouldn’t change who you are, rather, just improve for yourself and your partner.
6. “When she cheats on me.”
Well, this is self-explanatory. Hurting your man’s heart and pride is a big blow. If you aren’t satisfied with your present partner, then be honest about it instead of sneaking about, because word gets around fast, especially with the permeation of social media in our lives.
7. “When a girl will use guilt to fuel the relationship.”
You’re on a sinking boat when you spend most of your time together fighting, especially over trivial matters. Not all guys can pick up cues of the infamous tampo. So instead of dropping hints that build up guilt, drop the bomb and let him know how you feel about a particular situation, especially if you’re uncomfortable. Better yet, work things out before date night turns to fight night.
Seven decent guys and seven honest answers. I was actually expecting more audacious replies like, “she got fat” or “her best friend was hotter,” but that may have been the creeping bitterness in me surfacing. There are decent men out there, and their breakups aren’t always because they’re lying, cheating bastards, but because they want out of a deteriorating relationship—and it’s the logical thing to do. So maybe ending a relationship really is a new start, the beginning of an epiphany and self-improvement.
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Bea is a single mother addicted to life hacks, books, food and the ocean. Bent on creating a better world for her daughter, she's using writing as a medium to get to where she needs to be, one chapter at a time.