Picture this: you meet someone and you connect with them INSTANTLY.
The word amazing doesn’t do them justice; you think they’re more than that. You can’t stop smiling when you think about this person. It’s because they’ve sparked something that you didn’t think you had deep inside. All of a sudden, the lyrics of every stupid love song you made fun of start making sense.
The signs are there. You know it in your heart that YOU ARE MEANT TO BE. Period.
But the universe’s dark humor appears out of nowhere, and something outside of your control shatters your dream. Whether it’s them going through a breakup or on the verge of moving to another country permanently, or they have an MMFF-worthy family drama going on, whatever it may be, the timing is just wrong.
Or is it really?
Right Person + Wrong Time = UGH
I once read an article that said the right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person idea is wrong. According to that article, wrong timing is just a pathetic excuse from a person who’s not ready for a relationship.
It’s true that some people use this excuse to get away from the possibility of a relationship (which is pretty screwed up, tbh. Shame on you). Still, I believe that there are some cases where you run into a person who could potentially be the love of your life, but the circumstances surrounding you were just in bad shape.
What are these cases?
Your Career is Your S.O.
If climbing up the career ladder is your priority, dating might be difficult — no matter how much you like someone.
There’s nothing wrong with prioritizing your career. It’s important to be passionate and financially independent before you enter a relationship. A job gives you the stability that keeps you from depending on your partner too much.
You don’t want your partner to hold you over your job, or vice versa. It’s a recipe for resentment. Instead, before you say “yes” to a potential partner, hustle hard first. You won’t regret it.
Not The Best Version of Their Self (or Yourself)
We all have struggles. Whether it’s alcoholism, excessive gambling, or insecurity, we all have personal demons. Some people would insist that finding a significant other might be a good way to overcome these challenges.
Personally, I don’t think that’s a great idea. Expecting another person to be the band-aid solution to our troubles might end up in us not giving them what they needed or deserved. Sure, they might stay for the first time, but along the way, they’ll get tired. And so will you.
Mama RuPaul said it best: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Before we dive into a relationship, it helps to be a better version of ourselves. I’m not saying you have to be perfect because let’s be honest, no one can ever be perfect. No one’s going to be OK forever, but we should be able to give what our partner needs physically and emotionally (and vice versa).
The Ex is Still in the Picture
Meeting someone new after a breakup is tempting. You want to move on from the past by being with someone new, but you’re unsure if you’re ready to be in a relationship again.
If you still have one foot in the past, it’s impossible to plant your feet in a new relationship. How can you completely fall in love with someone when you’re still wondering about your ex?
It’s possible to meet someone great when you’re heartbroken, but until you or they’ve put the pieces of their heart together and learned lessons from their previous relationship, the chances of successfully diving into a new relationship is slim.
Someone is About to Move
We’ve seen it in movies: the main characters meet and fall in love, but one of them is about to move to a new city or country. A cliché plot that sucks so bad, tbh. In the movies, however, the couple always seems to end up together. One of them flies to the other or they just stay where they are.
IRL, it’s not always the case.
If you meet someone right before they move and there’s no possibility of a relationship, this is the epitome of wrong timing. Yes, you can have a fling before they go, but the relationship will have an expiration date.
Meeting someone who feels like THE ONE at the wrong time leave you with tales of The One That Got Away. But I do believe in hope. I believe that if a person is really meant for you, they will always come back to you — regardless of the timing.