Some people search the world and wait their lives to find the right one. After all, almost everyone wants to be in love. Everyone wants to be cared for and have someone waiting at the door for them when they get home. Yes, the feeling of being in love can be a wondrous thing. Let’s say you’re lucky enough to be one of the people in this world in a happy relationship. Happy, that is, until you realize something has changed. Sometimes when the honeymoon high is over, reality kicks in and you begin to realize or feel things that aren’t exactly positive toward your partner. Some of these can be fixed, while some just can’t. Here are 5 signs you’re falling out of love—and how to stop yourself if it’s something you can prevent.
1. You’re starting to see his imperfections, and you can’t accept them.
It is a fact that no one is perfect. But we can learn to overlook or accept the imperfections in someone we love, in part because he does the same for you. But if, after some time, you start to see his imperfections and find that these less-than-ideal points are starting to outweigh the good you see in him, you may find yourself in need of a little soul searching and a lot of open communication with your guy.
What to do: Tell him what’s bothering you. Talk it over. You shouldn’t end your relationship this early just because of one or two things that annoy you. Maybe there’s room for compromise. But remember, you can’t change a person. All you can do is talk to him about how and why the things he does rub you the wrong way. If he really cares about you and your feelings, he’ll make the effort to listen to you and work with you to find solutions that benefit the both of you. And as for you, don’t just wait and see if he does make an effort—meet him halfway. If you both do your best but still aren’t able to see eye to eye, this is when you should start deciding if your differences are irreconcilable.
2. You’ve evaluated your priorities, and he isn’t one of them.
He used to be one of the most important things in your life, and that isn’t exactly the case anymore. For some reason, there are things in your life that have become higher priorities for you, and you find yourself wondering if life would be better if you didn’t have him to worry and care about.
What to do: Ask yourself if it’s a case of wanting him out of your life or just wanting more room for other things. Do you just want to give more time to your career, studies or other pursuits? Self-actualization is important, and you need to feel fulfilled as an individual to bring the fullest sense of yourself to your relationship. So think long and hard before you break things up with him. Could it be that you just need his support and for him to give you more space? If so, try talking things out. This may just be a case of you wanting more time for yourself and your dreams, but it may also be a sign that your feelings are indeed fading. And if you do want to pursue your dreams, but he is determined to hold you back, it may indeed be time to pull the plug.
3. The relationship doesn’t thrill you anymore.
You used to look forward to his texts, calls and the time you spend together. But lately it seems that you’ve just stopped caring, and you’ve both started to focus more on your own pursuits. It seems more of a routine to you now and everything is just starting to lose its meaning.
4. You don’t care if the choices you make hurt him.
Good things may start happening in your life, and opportunities may start rushing in. A strong, confident woman doesn’t need a man to find, make, and take these opportunities for herself. However, if you’re in a relationship, it’s only right to talk to your partner before making decisions that affect him as well as you. But you find yourself making decisions time and time again that could affect him negatively, and you aren’t really affected when you see that what you’re doing is hurting him.
What to do: The point of being in a relationship is to be there for each other and to move forward in life as partners. If you keep making these decisions without caring how he’s affected because you feel like he won’t support you, talk to him first. It could just be that he wants to feel he matters to you. But if you genuinely don’t care how he feels, it’s time to cut the cord for his sake as well as yours. Even if he really wants to be there for you and even if he is willing to get through the hurt you’ve caused him, if you don’t feel like you can offer him your support and understanding, do what’s right and break things off so he has a chance to move on.
5. You feel like you’re settling.
This happens when you look at him and you know you could do better; maybe you know he could do better too. Or maybe you start to realize that you’re just staying in the relationship because it’s a stable, solid, dependable aspect of your life, but that you don’t really feel passionate about your partnership or your partner. Your relationship is about playing it safe rather than pursuing happiness and love.
What to do: Think of the things that brought you together. What did you like about him? What are the things that he did that made you feel like he would be a great partner? Relationships are supposed to help people grow, but it’s a sad fact that you can grow apart just as easily as you could grow together—in fact, this is actually more easily done. The things that made you good for each other at the start of your relationship may not necessarily be the things you need from each other anymore. This often happens in long-term relationships, and when it does, it isn’t necessarily anyone’s fault. Assess your needs and his, and if you find that your path to happiness and fulfillment doesn’t align with his, you might find it’s time to part ways.
Love isn’t just a gift; it’s a work in progress. But with all endeavors in life, there will be times you’ll have to cut your losses and times you need to dig deep and fight it out. Even if you experience all of these things, do a little soul searching before you call it quits. Talk to your partner and find out how he is feeling. Long-lasting, happy, and loving relationships are never easy, and there will never be a guarantee. So while you may need to learn to let things go if you’re falling out of love, make sure you’ve explored all avenues before calling it quits—if only to ensure that you have fewer regrets later on.